Why am I so mean?

Today was my friend Brian's birthday, and to celebrate it, I watched my friend Sara bake him a cake, and then we took it to him. He is a Studio 60 fan (just like myself), and he was watching it with his roommates and his friend Zack. I call Zack 'Pretty Zack' because he is one of those classically attractive people who are always hot without ever trying. He can be wearing a fancy-schmancy suit or a dirty sweatshirt, but I am always going to find him attractive. However, I am totally mean to him every time I see him, but not I-am-in-third-grade-and-I-think-I-like-you mean way, just a run of the mill thoughtless-know-it-all mean way.

Example: the last time I saw him I corrected a joke he was poaching from 'When Harry Met Sally' (he used Lebanese food as the reference instead of Ethiopian, so he really even destroyed the funny of the joke). Tonight, he thought that Patricia Arquette was the lead chick in 'High Fidelity,' and she isn't--some Danish chick is. I know all this random uselessness off the top of my head, so I have to blurt it out without thinking, and when someone doubts I am right, I must argue with them (because, in these two cases specifically, I unequivocally know I am correct). Anyway, every time I speak to Zack, I am this mean sort of know-it-all. I am sure he hates me because I would hate me. It isn't that I am interested in him and want him to like me because I am not (but I wouldn't kick him out of bed either, I am no fool). I just feel bad that I am a jerk to my friend Brian's friends. Let's face it, I feel bad that I am a jerk at all, and I am apparently kind of a tool.

Also, PS some of my friends need to warn a girl when a man she has obsessed over a great deal in the past (and even put herself out there for--which I don't always do because I talk a big game and rarely ever walk it), they need to warn her when he is sleeping on their couch and she is over visiting. There I am at John, Sara, and Angie's when Angie comes home with Paul from rehearsal. Oh, hi person I haven't talked to in a year, you know since I threw myself at you and you oh so carefully ducked. No, no this isn't awkward in the least since no one gave me fair warning. Thanks a lot people.

Seriously, I think it went ok. I mean it was a little weird, but he is a little weird, so it could be just that. Please? Please be just that, and damn is he still the sexiest man I know in real life (sorry Henry, one day when we meet, you can take that title, but for now, you live only in my dreams--and somewhere in LA).