Had an interesting weekend. On Friday, we got caught in a downpour or a deluge on the way to friends' Shakespeare show and was so soaked we couldn't (Sam and I) very well go to the show anymore. Literally we were wet through, my bra was drenched, we were dripping, the only possible way we could've gotten more wet was to go swimming. So, we headed home and had a quiet night (where I learned how to download ebooks for free from the library (you only get to keep them for 21 days, but they have audiobooks you can get that way too).
Saturday was a lazy day at home until Sam brought delicious food over for dinner and another friend joined us. Then we went to see the 500 Clown's latest production loosely taken from Brecht's Man is Man into a sort of crazy cabaret type thing. It was awesome and great fun. I will probably try to grab another showing of it before it closes (which means sometime my birthday weekend).
Then yesterday I was even more lazy before heading over to Sam's for a dinner he made and we had some friends over for that too.
Unfortunately, Sam had another relapse this weekend. He seems to have bounced back from it, but he still went out and had a party night Saturday after the show. I could tell he wasn't feeling himself at the show, and he intended to go home and sleep but when he got home there was a work emergency involving the Seattle Mariners and the Jonas Brothers (different events). It stressed him out, so he decided he should go out to a piano bar and drink until 5am. Then he texted me about it.
I let him know my displeasure about it, and the fact that his one night relapses seem to be forming a new pattern within his "not drinking" that makes me crazy and makes me fear he isn't getting as better as he thinks he is. I also let him know this is a major reason why I think he should try AA, so he would have a person to call when shit starts pulling him the wrong direction. Instead of having to call me or his friend who barely ever drinks or someone who doesn't really understand the complications of addiction because they haven't really had to fight it.
Mostly at this point it freaks me out because I was sure he would get things figured out enough that I could move in by the time my lease is up at the end of August (or mid-August if Azar gets a school roommate). And right now, I am not sure he will. And I don't know what I am going to do then. I mean I can find myself an apartment or a sublet or somewhere to crash. I have done it before. I'm a grown up, but I sure haven't planned for it. And moving to my own place, well it just isn't what I had hoped for or wanted. That is the bottom line. I don't want it. It sucks.
4 comments:
These last two posts sound like my life is much crappier than it feels generally. Like yes the business in this post sucks. But it is the kind of chronic sort of thing you mostly get used to and work around and it is still better than it used to be.
And the last post was more something interested and complicated and good for blogging than currently a major part of my life.
I also didn't mention that my basement partially flooded knocking out the hot water for about 36 hours, but it was really hot and I had just enough left to make showering ok.
You are welcome for that TMI.
For many similar reasons you should give AlAnon a try. The people there will understand YOUR situation and issues and difficulties. You deserve support and help in this too, you know.
(Steps back out of bossypants, despite the extreme comfort factor.)
You could get him the Big Book; it's what they use at AA meetings. It's their bible.
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