I am at that point in post-break up fallout where I am questioning everything I know to be true. Since the relationship I was so sure of wasn't sure at all, maybe other things I am sure of are faulty as well. I am not really in any kind of position to talk myself out of this. I am confused, and I am flummoxed by love, by jobs, by practically everything, so it is easy to think that I am wrong and have always been so and have just been convincing myself otherwise with no substance behind it.
I guess I just really need something to go right. I need a little hope or a little magic or something. I need some faith, either of my own or of people in me. Actually, in order for me to believe it, I probably need a whole lot of faith in me from others--to counteract the nauseating doubt.
This is such a very depressing entry, and I don't feel like I am quite this depressed (or depressing) to the people I am around a lot. At least, I hope I am not, but when I am alone that is when my thoughts are left to their own devices and their devices haven't been very much fun for me since Patrick left.
Where's Beebo?! There she is!!!
11 years ago
2 comments:
Doubt sucks. But I have faith in you! You are a wonderful talented nice person- believe in that!
well--at least it took something of a significant relationship of some sort to raise some doubt...so that ought to help you regain faith? wow--i make loads of sense--i think *or rather hope* you get where i'm coming from...and if you didn't--think of it this way...logically--the one doesn't necessarily lead to the other--so--ummm...yeah? you know what...i don't think you should ever listen to a word of advice from me should you ever be insane enough to seek it...i'll redeem myself on the next one!
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