"Excuse me, I need room for me and my ninjas."

My friend Kristy said this to me at work today in all seriousness. There was no joking because he had boxes of these crazy decorative ninja statues that pier 1 is selling right now. It was pretty awesome. Who else had legitimate ninja conversations today? That is what I thought.

I am totally suffering from some weird insomnia. Plus two things have happened lately to make me feel really old and kind of unfulfilled or unfinished. One, I keep getting my space messages looking for my info for my 10 year reunion next summer. I feel like I should be thinner or more successful for it, but I guess there is some time to fix that between now and then, assuming that I go (not sure about that just yet). Second, a little girl I used to babysit (and is now a college freshman) has been posting songs she has written onto her my space music page, and they are kind of amazing. So amazing that one is now my profile song and also in heavy rotation on the new ipod of so many earlier posts. There she is learning guitar and writing songs, and here I am sitting on my ass watching dvds of the west wing and lots of mindless TV (I watched NCIS in real time yesterday).

I feel like I am a creative person--obviously with the acting, but also with the sewing and lately I seem to have found a latent talent for table setting and floral arrangements. I have been trying a hand at being a memoirist, and I want to write a play that me and my friends here in Chi-town could put on here and be fucking brilliant in. However, I don't get around to doing much--except when people ask for place settings and floral arrangements at work (where I help bitchy mavens of Lincoln Park dress up a room or a table on the cheap). I just want to get motivated to stick with something, anything, enough to follow through to a first draft or mock up and then even further to a final project, but I just don't care enough to get past hard. I just don't. I think that I used to. One time I did care about things enough to devote all my time to them. Now, I am obsessed with watching my favorite TV shows and reading my favorite blogs. Not so much an achievement. Where's my freaking fire?

Sidebar: why can't spell checker on a blog recognize the word blog or its plural?