Bossiness

I am a bossy person. I just am. And I don't think I can always avoid it. I have been bossy since I was a toddler--it is just way too late to fix it now. Sometimes this bossiness serves me well. It gets shit done, decisions get made. It can help me be productive and efficient at times (as long as I don't use my powers for evil--as my friend Chris would say).

I do try to avoid being bad bossy. By bad bossy I mean so bossy that I bully the people around me into doing what I want. Lately, I have not been sure if I am bullying a few key people in my life. Part of me very much wanted to just make them agree, but the other part also realized that it would be completely unfair to allow them to be swept away by my momentum. My momentum can be pretty overpowering. I acknowledge that when I get going on something, you have to resist me very strongly in order to change my momentum.

And I don't always recognize in the moment when I am being a bully--especially if people seem to just want to go along with me because I care more. I don't think my cares are automatically more important than the cares of those around me just because my cares are often louder. Striking the balance, and figuring out the cares of some of the people in my life who are not very likely to loudly state their own cares can be hard for me. I expect everyone to be able to voice their own cares as loudly as I voice mine, or rather I expect them to be as unable to suppress the voice of the cares as I am.

I don't want to be a bully, but I can live with some of my bossiness. I hope that the people in my life realize that all I need is to be told what they want too, and I will take it into characterization.