Monday, April 12, 2010

Passion and Motivation

I have totally scuked at motivating myself lately. To do anything. I haven't sewn my sister's quilt top together. I haven't worked on the pieces that Tim Miller's workshop inspired me to follow through on. I haven't attempted to create anything for a storytelling program that would help nurture my writing for performance (and you have to have work for the application). I haven't really exercised. I haven't been eating better. I haven't been writing in my 'artist pages.' I haven't done anything to look into auditioning.

I just haven't felt like it, or if I have felt like it, I let myself talk myself out of it or I procrastinated my way away from it. Instead I have watched 2 and a half seasons of Bones on Netflix on demand since Sam left. Well, and I went to an al-anon meeting and am going to one tonight again.

I am going to respect the structure and anonymity of al-anon and not talk about it here any further than the two things I just said. I just feel this isn't the right forum for it, especially knowing my penchant for anecdotes.

I am also going to take that same tack on Sam's recovery and keep it off here. It just doesn't seem like it will be helpful to him to know that I might be writing about it here. I won't be quite so circumspect about it as I will be about al-anon simply because this blog keeps me in contact with the Bitch Barn crew, so I will continue to reach out to them using this forum.

But as to motivation again, I just don't feel as passionate about things as I used to. Or I do, but I don't know how to parlay that into motivation for the things I feel passionate about. Now that I write that, I am not sure that is true. Maybe I just mean that I have higher personal standards for what should come from my passions, like I expect instant wow factor from them. Or something. Or that my passions are kind of varied and then dillute themselves and make all of my motivations less successful. Or something?

I don't really know what I mean.

Anyone have advice or tips or tricks on how they motivate themselves? About anything? Or tips about following your passions? Why do I feel like an Oprah show or a self-help discussion group?

1 comment:

Sally said...

As much as it pains me to say this, Nike, Inc. has a great line: Just do it. To my mind, over half the battle is just getting started. With pretty much anything.

That said, you've had some BIG things going on in your life in the past few weeks. Maybe let that stuff settle first and then worry about being productive?