Feeling better

Much, much better. I did awake with a sort of headache today, but I don't think it is related to the cold and could've happened any day (or that is what I am deciding).

I am at work today, at the 9-5 M-F work. What you say? Today is Saturday? Well, how right you are. We "get" to work Saturday in order to take Monday off. Yippie! I say with great sarcasm--although I suspect I will relish not working on Monday, so there is that.

The agenda is clean Jamie's desk (so she does not kill me on Wednesday when she is back at it) and then clean my desk and then do all the work that would create. Then I do the work that Maureen left me and then help Sonia file and then invoice. Yeah that will be just as much not that much fun as it sounds.

Ok, well the good news is that after today I get like three days worth of unbroken time with the boy who I have missed very much in the last two weeks where I hardly got to see him. (PS he got me a really nice Christmas present that I will get to enjoy for the next six months--wines and cheeses of the world every month).

Christmas for tomorrow

Here am I wrapping presents for Sam and my Christmas which we are celebrating tomorrow. I am also watching "The Last King of Scotland."

My cold seems better today. I don't know if I have zicam or robetussin to thank for that, but I am glad. Who knows how long I will stay feeling better--I have this premonition that this is just a brief holdover.

Blech. I hate being sick.

Sick

I am full blown sick now. It isn't awful. I can still function, but it is niggling, constantly a little unpleasant, and I get to play receptionist all day like this, and it is no fun. I also Pier 1'd tonight and will do so tomorrow night as well, and it makes me miss my associate days when I could just call in sick because in fact I am sick, but now I cannot call in. No one can cover for me-not this time of year and not with as few managers as we have on schedule. So I work, and I work some more. However, easy work on Saturday and Sunday and no work on Monday and Tuesday, and I look forward to napping a lot on those days. They were going to be days of fun, but now they look to be days of napping.

Sam, I think, feels bad because he was sick first ergo perhaps he got me sick. But Kathy in my office was way sick too. There was no way I am escaping it. Plus, it seems like Sam and I will be spending more than enough time together in the foreseeable future to keep getting one another sick which is a weirdly happy thought.

Merry Christmas

Yeah I know for like twenty more minutes. I had a nice Christmas and the Branson-Schlegal-Peterson-Plummer residence (but without the Plummer). I definitely fell asleep on the floor after two appletini's on Christmas Eve, and there was napping today.

The crap thing is that I have a cold. Scratchy throat, runny nose, coughing. I might have had a fever earlier in the day, but I was really, really hot in my coat while walking home--although that could've just been the temperature.

I am apparently too sick to be interesting this fine holiday. Oh well.

I miss Sam. Hopefully I get to see him day after tomorrow.

It works!!!!!!

My internet works. FINALLY!!! Seriously, I can't believe how hard it was to get my aircard to work, but now there is internet everywhere, and I am happy with it. It did take a half hour on the customer service line and 4 different customer service representatives--including one of them that was stumped for a while--for it to work. But it now works and I can have a very merry internet filled Christmas.

Why am I still at work?

Being here at regular day job right now seems pretty pointless. I mean, I did get to meet and talk to a woman named Santa (no joke) and girl Santa is awesome! I also got to play with a puppy, and we had a secret Santa giveaway that was great (and I got Amish peanut butter and raspberry jam--super tasty!). But seriously, I have basically no motivation to work for the next hour. At all. None. I want to go home. I no longer want to answer the phone--which has rung far more than I expected. The puppy who just left was the best part of the afternoon, also messaging Sam who is sitting at home, since he took some vacation that he has to use up. Although it totally is unfair that he is sitting at home and I am working, and later I am working some more at job the second. I am getting a little burnt out from the psychotic amount of work I have given myself.

Good news though. I get the 30th, the 31st, and the 1st off and probably have only a short day on the 29th. This will be awesome! Especially since Sam has all those days off and will be back in town. Yes!

On a not-so-much-related note, I am getting curiouser and curiouser about what he is getting/has gotten me for Christmas, but we aren't going to be having our Christmas until after he comes back. So I have almost a week to wait before I find out. Hmmmmm. . . I have some ideas (and basically no clues) as to what. But I was always the kid who liked to ponder and reason out what was in a particular gift, and I got really good at it--using the package itself but also my knowledge of the gift giver to guess.

Don't worry. I will spill the beans here as soon as I have beans that it.

Last night I was at Sam's going to blog as soon as the air card was up and running, but it has not yet been activated because I have to call, and I didn't have it in me last night. This weekend. I will call then.

What I did have in me was pizza with walnuts and Gorgonzola and pears on it and polenta fries and a nice Chianti. They were yummy and what Sam and I had for dinner at this great little Italian place in the Near North River North restaurant district because Cafe Iberico does not want me and Sam to eat there ever again.

I am also super busy at work (not that it is stopping me from this right now--whatever) being multiple people, and that means I am sitting at the receptionist's desk. Her desk has a different keyboard than the last time I did this. Her keyboard rocks! The old one used to not type w's, i', r's or 8's which got really old, really fast. This one makes a very satisfying clicking when you type. I like that.

I was also going to post about how snow is pretty, but when you live in a neighborhood full of dogs its poses a problem if it does not melt off the sidewalks right away. I live in a neighborhood of yellow snow. Everywhere. Since last Saturday night we have been coated. And the twenty or so dogs I see getting walked around my block have turned the snow yellow. The little melting that has occurred has unearthed some poo too. That's awesome for walking in, except that it is not. I really do not like yellow snow. It grosses me out. It's oookie. I no like it.

Jim sent me more DVD's of TV in the mail. I think that is awesome! Renee gave me a speaker thing for my ipod to dock into, its also an alarm clock, and it is little enough to fit into my bag, so I took it to work and now the dixie chicks are serenading me (among others, punchline was the last song).

Sometime soon, I get two days with no work off in the space of a week. Also I might get some sleep. That will be a nice change.

Sam's morning doorman called me sweetheart today and told me to keep warm. It was sweet, and then I saw my coworker Brad at the bus stop. He asked if I was going to work or home. I was going home briefly before work. Yeah, that was awesome. No, Brad is my friend and just teased me about it a little.

Steve McQueen went to the vet. He is getting to be a very spendy free kitten, but he no longer has ear mites and he does have his rabies shot. He just has to be neutered and we need to make sure we have killed his worms. He has decided he does not like Dr. Amy our vet because well she pokes him with things and sticks stuff in his ears, and so he hissed at her. Then he would come and sit in between my arms whenever she let go of him like he wanted her to know that he was mine and that I was going to protect him, but really I kept letting her fix him. He should be fine for a long time though. He's pretty healthy.

That's all for my long ADD post today. 5 days until Christmas!

So no magical internet yet

I have to convince my computer that it can use the aircard and the aircard that it can use the computer. I was supposed to do that last night, but it had a battery that needed to charge and I started that process too late.

Plus Sam and I have been enjoying some of the last of our pre-Christmas time together. I work my butt off for Pier 1 this week (our holiday hours are out of control), and then he leaves for Oklahoma. Sometime after that we get to hang out. We even have a whole day off together!

In lieu of real posting I am going to include the teaser to "Don't Clown Around With Love" with the disclaimer that NONE of it is real. It is a fantastical representation based loosely on some facts about the lives of friends of mine. It all started when Jamie (one of said friends) would say something and I would joke about it and she would squeal thus exponentially increasing the likelihood that I would continue to tease her about it and the teasing would get more and more ridiculous ending up with this wild stab at silly trashy romance novel. Here we go. It is awesomely bad.

Don’t Clown Around With Love
By Heather
Chapter I.
Janey’s Arrival


“Well, Marilyn Monroe, I guess this is it,” Janey said to her fluffy gray cat as she pulled her car up in front of the non-descript graystone. “We sure are a long way from Idaho.” The trip took almost three days through mountains and deserts and forests and plains and ended up here on the northwest side of Chicago in a neighborhood that was Starbucks and gentrification-free. It may not be very trendy, but Avondale fit her budget.
Janey got out of the car and looked around. The car was filled with all of her possessions- her furniture had come with her roommate and fellow newly-christened college graduate the month before in a U-Haul. The apartment on the second floor was inexpensive, clean, and roomy. “What more can a girl ask for?” she quipped to Marilyn Monroe as she picked up his cage, her blond ponytail bouncing with each eager yet apprehensive step. “That’s a good boy,” she cooed. (The name Marilyn Monroe was the result of an unfortunate kittenhood where no one had managed to notice he was, in fact, not she.) “We’ll go inside as soon as I find the landlord.”
And that is when she saw him, coming from the backyard, his forehead glistening with sweat on the bright, late summer afternoon. His biceps bulging as he carried a large box to the curb. Her throat caught – there was something about him, something primitive that caused her stomach to stir…or was it her stomach?
“Hi,” he said, extending his hand, “you must be Janey. I’m Pete.”

Chaos

At work. All day. It won't stop.

Sam's work party was great fun! I met lots of wonderful people, and I won a $25 gift certificate to linens and things.

Now I leave for home. More laters because magical internet box has arrived!!

Cinderella

I feel like that sometimes when I go back to the ladies in embroidery. They are all so excited to see me and help me steam the camisole I am wearing under a cute little shirt/wrap for Sam's work party tonight, and they ask me all sorts of questions and demand that I come back and tell them of it. Maybe Cinderella isn't the right fairy tale, but if they are not the funny little mice who would they be? Fairy godmothers? Speaking of, still have not seen enchanted. I will do that while Sam is gone for Christmas, or maybe I will drag him along this week.

Anyway, marathon of Christmas parties are about to start. One tonight, one tomorrow, two Saturday (really three but I can't go to Katie's there is just not enough time). Also, Sam comes back from Miami where he has been all of two and a half days, so I feel kind of lame missing him, but whatever. Turns out I am lame!

The novel will come soon, or the teaser of it. As soon as I have time to write a disclaimer to preface it.

Christmas me!

bgcolor="ffffff" align="middle" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" />

Public transportation and walking

I do so much more of it now that I am dating a boy. I mean I did a little before boy, took the train to and from work, walked to and from pier 1. But new place has much shorter walks in between these places, so the walking is less, and the bus is less because it is a faster street (more lanes and more frequent buses).

Since the boy though, there is walking to the red line and walking to his place. And after an initial few weeks of being very, very bad with the cab taking. I have generally shaped up, and we even don't cab it together if we are eating near his house--although lately that means crowds of Christmas shoppers making me angry.

I may need more books to read, or actually I need to buy a little notebook because I am going to write a trashy romance novel in installments about Jamie (my UI friend/the receptionist at work). I have decided her landlord is in love with her, and in my fictitious world this will play out in a very harlequinn romance formula. It will be awesome. I decided I am going to write them on the bus, and then she can type them up, and it will make us both happy (and yes UI types, Paul is her landlord HA!).

PS I am ridiculous in case that was not formerly known.

More on ice

I told Sam about the almost dying on his buildings grounds the other day, and his response was, "Oh, you mean you didn't grab on to the ropes?" Because apparently they put up a guide wire (which I have seen and never dreamed was for this purpose) in the winter, so "the little old ladies to hold on to when it gets slick." That last bit was a quote from one of his doormen.

I like his doormen, they are an interesting crew. Two of them are very nice and friendly with me, but they are jovial sort of men. One of them is less so, but I am not sure he is jovial. He has kind of a Gothic personality (and I mean that in more of a Byronian sense than in a Mansonian sense), so maybe he is being a friendly and jovial with me as he can get.

I must admit, it is weird that Sam's doormen now know me. I mean, they see when I arrive and when I leave and who I am often with. That is a whole lot of two and two to put together and kind of a lot of bidness to know. It is just an odd situation to be in. My house is a regular old house. The only person who KNOWS bidness is my roommate. But she would KNOW the bidness anyway. Strange. The world of doormen is strange.

Negativity

I have been kind of that for no reason in one facet of my life, and I can't seem to stop it. The thing is, bitching about what I keep bitching about is kind of making me complicit in it. So I decided yesterday to stop it. To follow my grandmother's advice of, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Done. I am shutting my damn mouth, and changing the subject to something happy like kittens that poop rainbows or something. It mus be so since I have declared it to the Internet.

Also there is snow here, lots of it. It was beautiful falling downtown last night. The bridges are lit up for Christmas as are some of the trees and big flakes were falling softly. It was nice. And then this morning it was super slick outside Sam's place with a knock you over wind blowing off the lake. I almost died by the wind smashing me into the concrete/polished granite or marble slab that is his walkway. It wanted to push me down, but I stayed up. Then I walked past the MCA (Museum of Contemporary Art) and it hadn't been swept clean of snow, so the whole steps were a big white blank as was the big entry in front of it, and the sculptures that live a top on of its low roofs were dripping in big snowy hats and capes. I wish I had had my camera to take a picture. I love Chicago! Even in the snowy-cold winter.

Interesting

I met a good number of Sam's friends and coworkers at a party he threw on Friday. I got there while they were already wasted because I was three hours late since I had to work at Pier 1. Sober Heather, blitzed Sam and everyone he knew. I also managed to break something as I walked in creating a large crash (fortunately it was just the box encasing 3 bottles of wine in cute excelsior all decorated gifty). It was a present for the guest of honor who I met as she helped me clean it up. She's one of his best friends. She wanted me to know he is fantastic (I've noticed), later when she was even more intoxicated she kind of threatened to hurt me if I were to do him wrong. That was odd.

Others of his friends scolded me because he had not yet introduced us. I don't think that is my fault. All in all, it was really cool to meet Sam's people. It was interesting to hear their assessment of me. Jess (a fiery red-headed bombshell who works in Sam's office) asked if I was Sam's bitch--much to his horror. It was actually quite funny because I think she was referring to me being his bitch in the style of rap guy's girlfriends not in some other way. They also kept telling me how much he talks about me and how happy he seems to be since we have started dating--which since he apparently was a happy person long before me brings forth other questions (like how do you tell? for one).

I also enjoyed hearing how they speak of him. They like him. He is, it turns out, a good guy and maybe the good guy everyone knows but never seemed to be able to find the right good girl. Plus we seem to have become quite firmly a couple. He was asking me in email today what 'we' should do about New Year's Eve because he is planning on throwing a party at his house, and he is thinking of it as 'our' party. All of this I find kind of lovely.

Oh, and for whoever (Alan?) asked about the car. Toyota 4-runner, early 00's. That is what he drives. He drove me to the train the other morning because it was raining quite hard, and I had left my umbrella at home.

Sam is right about everything

He is. He just is. He isn't know-it-all about it, and he even sometimes seems embarrassed about it, like he would try to be wrong if he thought that would work. I am usually the one who is always right, and I am not so humble about it. I can be a know-it-all pain in the ass. I can. I probably am. Sam not so much. He just simply is right, and he knows a lot more stuff than I do. He is kind of amazing that way.

Amazing and a little infuriating. Last night he was even right about things he shouldn't have been right about, like how long a red hand flashes on a crosswalk and whether or not we would have time to cross. It was like the world was conspiring against me in order to make him right about absolutely everything.

And yet, we spent most of the evening laughing, even about that because Sam smiles and laughs more then pretty much anyone I have ever met. He even greets what would be totally inflaming situations for basically every other person on earth with a shrug and a smile or a giggle. I don't know what it would take to get Sam upset. It is kind of like he only has three moods happy, tired, and content. There is nothing else. He is never mad or bitter or moody. I have dated too many bitter, moody men before him, and that would make me angry at them because if they were moody or bitter I would end up being that too, or I would spend a great deal of effort trying to fix their problems or cheer them up, and none of that effort would ever be appreciated. I don't have to cheer Sam up, he does it himself. I have not had to ignore his mood to get on with the rest of our evening or day. His mood always seems to be fun, often more fun than my mood. I will gladly join his mood and go along for the ride.

OK, yeah this got mushy fast. It was not intended to be some sort of adoration of Sam and his happy smarts, but that looks like that is what it is. I wish you guys could meet him--those of you who haven't. He is great.

F-ing toothache

I have wisdom tooth that is coming in. After I was told 7 years ago that mine would probably never come in. Well, guess what never? Meet probably. This hurts. It has happened before, and it just hurts for a few days and then everything is back to normal. But for those few days, I understand why teething babies cry.

Took Steve McQueen to the vet. He is in remarkably good shape except for the ear mites--he's got em. Actually the vet was very impressed by what good condition he is in considering his parentage or lack thereof.

He was mostly happy about it, until the very end until it got to be too much. There was blood drawing and ear cleaning and a really big pill and being felt up and gunk rubbed on his shoulders and a shot. Plus I had locked him in the bathroom all night to get a stool sample. He was not impressed with me. In fact he kept giving me a look that said, "Lookee here bitch, we ain't doing this again! And I don't like her neither." Insert pointed look in vet's direction after.

Because of all the stuff it was a pretty spendy vet visit, but he has a little follow-up which will be cheap, then the boy bits, and then he is fine until next November when he gets the big check-up all over again.

The other cat very confused by all of this. Confused as to why Steve had to be in the bathroom all night, confused as to why he smells funny when he came back from the vet, totally confused by everything. James kept following me and Renee around and mewing at us and mewing at the door to the bathroom, like he was checking to make sure we knew that Steve was back there and it wasn't an accident. It was actually quite sweet if totally annoying.

Cooking with the boy

Sam is hosting a good-bye party for one of his co-workers who is leaving his company. The house is getting cleaned, he has tables and tablecloths all set out, all his glasses out, you name it, he's ready.

He is also making most of the food for the party. There are beef skewer things, lots of cookies, some chicken (which was seasoned and cooked but not sure for what), chocolate tartlets, and banana tartlets. I helped him make the banana tartlets last night. And by helped him, I may have sort of taken over. I didn't mean to be rude, but he didn't know to slice the bananas with the peel still on (way easier that way and less messy), and he was just going to randomly smush the puff pastry dough into the little tart pan cups. So, I rolled out the dough for him, and I helped make the caramel sauce the bananas were to go in while he sliced.

I may have accidentally been condescending when I saw how he was making things (with the laptop set to the food network website on the little table across from the counter and stove), but he needed assistance. We were quite funny I am sure cooking together. I am from a long line of fantastic cooks and bakers even if I have very little practice--there is a lot of helpful theory wrapped up in my brain that just shoots out at moments like this and I never even know it is there until it appears. He cooks much more frequently and ambitiously than I do, but it seems he is mostly self-taught from the recipes. He is pretty good though. I was very impressed. I would never have done the work he did for this kind of party. He is also pretty adorable for getting all excited about his party and his work for the party (he has lists for the day of and the day before the party of what needs to get done). He is adorable.

He also is being forced to watch project runway. Which he seems to be taking to all right. His tivo however, hates me and does not want me ever to see the slapultimate episode of How I Met Your Mother. However, Internet of high speed has been ordered and may be happening at my house by this weekend. We can only hope.

There, Macaela, more about the boy and a picture from when my sisters roommate was visiting (that is her coworker, her, Sam, and me at a dueling piano bar).

i am back

My trip was wonderful and relaxing. I napped a bunch, I ate a bunch more, and I may have watched as much football as done anything else.

It was my "birthday" at the restaurant we ate at after Friday shopping, and I had to wear a shark hat, so in revenge I ate the entire birthday sundae--take that thinking it funny to make me wear the dumb hat.

There was also wine tasting, and I did in fact get lost but only briefly.

It was great to see the family, and it was great to have a vacation. I am going to try having more of those.

More later.

Leaving soon, maybe not soon enough

I am just tired and done here right now. My brain left for vacation a while ago. It shows no signs of returning before my body leaves for vacation tomorrow.

Goals for vacation:
Sleep
Drink wine
More sleep
Mmmmmm, raw milk
eat myself silly
not hit any deer in a rental car
not get lost while driving to my grandparents dairy farm in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night on a road I have not been on driving for 5 years and not been on driving at night in at least 7, so this last one could be tricky

also there might be karaoke.

There may not be a lot of posting from the middle of nowhere, it all depends on if I want to fire up someone else's computer that is on, gasp, wireless internet.

Have a happy t-day all!!!

Long days but vacation ahead.

Whew has this week been a week. And the few days of the weekend and the next week before the vacation will also be long. I seem to constantly fill my time with things and stuff. I wish more of it was family and friends and a little less of it was work. Although, when I was less busy with work and had only one job, I spent less time with friends and more time watching my netflix movies and tv. So, I guess this is good. I guess.

Tonight some friends will gather to watch a Tivo'd Project Runway, I cheated and already watched a bit and peeked online to see who got booted, but I am excited anyway. And Sam seems excited too, even though he is not a fan of the show (yet I say) and we are taking over his house and his tivo to see it. He is so wonderful to me. It is nice and strange, like I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. But I guess it is good that it doesn't. Not that I think he influences my thinking that it will--this is pretty much all of my own neuroses.

Hmm, me neurotic. I know, who saw that coming?

I met the parents and other relationship related topics

Because it turns out Sam and I are in a relationship, and I like it that way and it seems he does too--although we haven't really talked about. The signs are all there. My last relationship (and I am not counting the almost relationship I kind of had this summer because of all the qualifiers involved) suffered from me being way too clingy and forcing myself into his life which turns out he didn't like, so this time I want to avoid that. Last time I didn't really give it much thought. This time I have tried to make sure I am not just assuming he wants me to come over or assuming he wants to come over, but frequently he invites me over or just bundles me into a taxi back to his house.

Speaking of his house, the doormen of his building lent us a Mies van der Rohe documentary last night, and it was very surreal to watch a documentary about a building (well one segment only) that you are actually in while you are watching it. Very odd, but the movie "Super or Regular" does capture the beauty of his building which on first glance looks like a lot of other glass and steel apartment buildings. You wouldn't know that it was the first one ever and that they were not sure people would want to live in a house with floor to ceiling windows.

Also the reults of the parent meeting went well. His parents are wonderful, smart, funny, lively people. I loved them. He said they liked me and gave me no further information. My sister saw photos of the two of us and told me that we look alike. Which I guess I kind of see, but also no. Her roommate thinks she is crazy. I include a picture of us here for your curiousity. Sara took it at our housewarming party way back when we were barely dating. Also there was drinking at the party and SJ was not always giving fair warning that pictures were going to happen.

I am trying to think if there is anything much exciting else to tell but not really no. I guess that is all exciting enough.

Sorry about that!

Jim's rule is now taken to heart--no sad awful scary VAGUE blog posts. I resolve to get specific when talking about the awful.

I left the full story in the comments of the last post. For those who are interested. It isn't even that good of a story. It will be a total let down, and chances are you will mock me for it.

Tonight I meet Sam's parents. They are in town. I have only known Sam for a little under two months, so I admit to being a lot freaked out by this. Not by meeting them. I am sure they are lovely because Sam is pretty wonderful, so how awful could they be and end up with Sam? I am more freaked out at the idea of already meeting them. ALREADY. This seems soon. I guess. It makes us seem very serious. I mean, I guess we are serious--but very serious is something I am perfectly content to pretend isn't happening until long after it is already true and this whole meeting the parents thing might gum that up. Yeah, plus I want them to like and approve of me. They seem to think their sons are amazing, so I want to be someone they deem worthy. I washed my hair for them. And I am wearing way nicer clothes to be a Pier 1 Assistant Manager than I normally would. So that should fix everything, right? I still look like me though. I don't want them to meet a not me. Then what will they think if they meet me a second time. Perhaps it is too early in the morning to be writing about this?

Totally sick to my stomach

Over something that might be quite bad or might be nothing at all. See at this juncture I just have no idea. I will know when I get home from work but not until then. Hopefully, it is nothing. Hopefully someone was being helpful in a way that turned out just to scare us to death and minorly inconvenience us but not mess anything up in any way.

Or not. I don't want to think about the not. And yet I can feel the not hanging over me and settling in my stomach like a stone. I will update tomorrow. Man, oh man.

Libraries

Posting from the big ole CPL downtown. I stayed off from work today and went to the Chicago History Museum, rode the L, went to Millenium Park, and near Navy Pier (ran out of time)--can you tell I was playing tour guide?

It was great fun, and then I went to the Museum of Contemporary Art--which has some really phenomenal installations right now. Mapping the self made me wish I had enough free time to create some sort of map of me and my life.

Tonight or in the next few days I might meet Sam's parents. They are coming into town from Tulsa tonight for a conference. I am kind of nervous. Plus I think it is weird. Not bad weird but, I don't know sudden--but it isn't like they are making a special trip up or something. They are just coming to town and they only come up every once in a while. So yeah.

Must go--plans in my busy life and day!

People, people, people

In town. My sister's roomie is in town, and Sam is helping me be a wonderful tour guide. They came to my show last night, and then we went out to hear some live music and drink some martinis which was fun (but I was pretty tired after my post-show wired wore off). Tonight we are going out again, but I must first visit my polling place to vote and return a movie to blockbuster and hug my cat a little. Tonight we are going to a dueling piano bar that is apparently the most fun ever--Sam loves it and the guests are psyched.

Also, my friend Jamie and I wrote a drinking game to go along with a DVD of the truly horrid version of A Chorus Line I was in during grad school (because I know I am the first person you think of when you think professional Broadway dancer--and sadly I was one of the more like Broadway professional dancer in our cast). This weekend it is going to be put to use. Jamie and I tell my roommate about it all the time at work and Sam has heard it from Anna and I too--so Sam and Renee get introduced to it this weekend. It should be pretty funny.

Here are the rules: (Please note Susan played "Cassie" and Amanda was our choreographer--she had only 1 and 1/2 arms and played the role of the assistant choreographer in the show)

A Chorus Line: The Drinking Game




 Half of the people are odd numbers half even numbers, drink every time one of your numbers is called

 Anytime Amanda tries to demonstrate a dance move with a hand or arm that doesn’t exist, take a shot

 Every time Susan/Cassie does her wavy hand gesture

 Anytime someone claims to be of a race they clearly are not or participates in a racial stereotype, take a drink.

 Drink if they reference someone famous from the past.

 Drink if they reference a member of their family, two drinks if it isn't a parent

 Anytime someone references sex or a human body part, drink


If you are familiar with the show, you can see how we might get bad shitty real fast!

In lieu of contest, please try to quote lyrics from as many songs from A Chorus Line as possible without repeating a song.

So it turns out

Sam has been blowing his friends off to hang out with me, or so they think! I told him to stop doing that. Please spend time with your friends, so I am not THAT girlfriend. So tomorrow he is hanging out with his guys. It cracks me up.

New quiz:
What if everyone is crazy?
What if the person who comes to save us all is crazy?
What if the people in charge, arbitrarily assign crazy?
What would you do?
Who would save us all?

New Quiz

So I went out last night on Halloween, and it was fun, but I am pooped. After work tonight, sleeping is happening. Lots of sleeping, and this time I mean it. Maybe some cat cuddling, that might happen too.

The kittens are friends. I keep meaning to take pictures, but they stop being cute once I get it out. Soon, soon. Maybe boy pictures will come soon too.

Next musical is probably giving you all way, way too easy of a clue.

It would've been more interesting with a landgrab.

Happy Halloween

I am hoping to get trick or treaters this year on my lovely little side street. We shall see. I was going to dress in costume today but I couldn't find my tiara or a can of peas--so there went my princess and the pea idea.

As you can see Donald won the last contest with Bye, Bye, Birdie. The next hint is that I am thinking of a modern musical thouroughly obsessed with what can happen with good or bad PR. Remember, you must express your guess through lyrics of the songs of the musical you are guessing (just google it if you must). Donald lucked out that his had a title song with those lyrics in it.

If it gets rough, I will add more hints.

Many things

Well, there are a bunch of things happening with me. We have officially boyfriend and girlfriended. Officially. He's kind of totally adorable and seems not to be frightened by my friends, so that is always good (and then have even told some of the really embarassing stories). It is nice.

Jim sent us more stuff!!!! Seriously it is like he is competing in the awesome friend olympics or something. Really. We are very excited. We also hope to get tv and internet in the next two weeks or so, maybe. Stupid boys who lived there before us.

Thirdly, went to very scary haunted house this weekend and screamed a LOT!!!! Yeah, screaming happened, so did whimpering and grabbing peoples' hands, coats, hair and bags quite hard. It was fun though.

Also, new contest in my blog, probably once a week or whenever I feel like it really. I stole this from Lauren. I am going to think of a musical and give you vague hints of it, and you must guess which musical by quoting lyrics from whatever musical you think it is. Guesses must come as quote from lyrics from that musical. First hint, this musical has an oft repeated chorus and probably involves as much screaming as that haunted house and a whole lot more fainting.

You can also request more hints in the comments.

I touched Tom Colliccio's plate

Well, I touched a plate that was purchased from my Pier 1 for the restaurant wars of the next season which is being filmed right now in Chicago.

They actually shopped at the Pier 1 in Old town, but we packed up some stuff for them. It was kind of exciting. I love Top Chef, and I am definitely DVRing next season so that I can see all of it.

Yea for living in a great big city.

Mirrors

Most girls are familiar with the concept of the skinny mirror. It is a mirror that at least one person you know owns. A cheapo wall mirror from Walmart of Target that is a pain to make stay on the wall, and that should NOT be moved from dorm to apartment after apartment, but it is anyway. It is moved because from some miracle (or more likely cheap and shoddy materials and construction), it makes everyone look at least five to ten pounds thinner.

Kelsey had the skinny mirror at U of I. I am not sure who had it at CMS, and I for a while had a version of it--not as awesome as Kelsey's but still awesome. H & M has the opposite. Last night in their dressing room I scared myself with the sight of my mid-section. It looked bloated and flobby and just downright terrifying. I see it everyday, and in general I know what to expect from it, but what I saw in their dressing room was something else, something strange. Then I realized that I had seen my gut in such a terrifying state before, mid-summer when I was dress shopping--it was at an H & M too!!

Now you would think that a store trying to sell you clothes would actively pursue skinny mirrors for its dressing rooms. Make all the chicks think they are skinner than they are and they will take home armloads of the magical clothes. This seems to be a problem that they would want to fix. And yet. . .

Note to self, work out before I hit an H & M, or buy it all and take it home to try on and then bring it back.

It was almost scary enough to get me to give up ice cream and candy. Almost. . . but not quite.

Mies van der Rohe

He's a pretty famous architect. He was instrumental in the Second Chicago School of Architecture, and he totally designed the building Sam lives in. It was on a plaque in the lobby which probably has authentic Mies chairs in it. So, this morning I googled him to see what I could find. Turns out Sam's apartment building is one of his more significant structures--it has a nickname the "glass house apartments" and he has one on the corner of the steel and glass building.

Now, I have always thought Sam's apartment was amazingly cool because it is, but it is also crazy important in the scope of modern architecture. Crazy, huh. Also kind of intimidating, not gonna lie.

You can see a picture of it on the Mies Wikipedia page. It also has its own Wikipedia page. This is them too.

Jim Rules

Just so you all know, it's true. My little present of premieres arrived yesterday--although I have not had time to watch them. I will probably watch them while getting the house all gussied up for its warming party. But how cool is it that he sent me a DVD of all the things I wanted to see but couldn't?

I know that my friends are really great people. I feel like I wouldn't be friends with them if they weren't awesome, but then one of them goes and does something like this and I am reminded how truly lovely they are. Usually I am reminded that they are all lovely not just the one who has done the particularly awesome thing that triggered the reminder.

My friends are some pretty freaking phenomenal people! They are kind-hearted and generous (with their love and their sarcasm). They are funny and smart and I don't think I remember to tell them how awesome they are on a regular basis.

So, Jim you are awesome, and the rest of you. . . better send me a fucking present if you want me to tell you the same.


Just kidding. :) The rest of you are pretty awesome too!

Oh, and there was another date last night. It went well. Sam has met the roommate and the kitty and all went well.

Date Update

The date was great, and if I rhyme anymore in this post, someone should kick me. It also involved some sitcom-esque events (because sometimes I wonder if my life is not secretly a reality sitcom that no one has ever let me in on--remember my best wedding story ever).

First we met for dinner at the Kinzie Chophouse, a steakhouse down in the north loop restaurant district. The food was good, the small talk was good, the server was terrible. He just wasn't really with it. Then it comes to the time when he offers us dessert, and he starts to, but then he stops, mumbles something about having something for us or knowing what we want and disappears. Sam and I just look at each other, and ask if he just said he was bringing us dessert--because neither of us have ordered dessert. We are very confused, and we become more confused when crappy server brings out a big dessert plate with chocolate torte and little pile of hipped cream and sliced strawberries surrounded by drizzled sauce on the plate, drizzled sauce that spells out "Happy Anniversary!"

I laugh because what else can I do? Sam looks a little stricken until he realizes that I know he did not plan a Happy Anniversary Dessert for us. This does not happen in real life. So we flag server down, and we tell him it isn't for us because it is really not our anniversary. He seems confused that it isn't ours and tells us to eat it anyway. We do, but we laugh about it a lot! When the server comes back with the check, he asks us, "Are you guys even married?" Yeah, not so much. It was funny, and I kept mentioning that it is after all our anniversary as the date went on. Like after the symphony, he asked me if we should do something else, and I said, "Well, it is our anniversary!"

The symphony was awesome. Symphony center here in Chicago is AMAZING! Plus we sat on the terrace. Which meant we were behind/over the musicians and the conductor was facing us. Branford Marsalis was really close to us during one song. Watching the conductor was really cool--he was visiting us from St. Louis where he leads their symphony. Then they played a Thessolonius Monk song instead of the Copeland piece that was scheduled, and wow! Seriously wow! Soprano sax sounding as un Kenny G like as possible. It was great!

Then there were drinks, and then I got locked out of my apartment because I don't actually have a key to my apartment, and I forgot that Renee would be out later than I would be. So we went back to his place. All I am saying is that I no longer fear we won't be able to get past the first date situation. That problem has been solved.

Although, now I worry that I seem like a totally scheming bitchy girl when I really just don't have my own key to my apartment. I realized after the fact that this was just the kind of plan I needed, but I know I wouldn't have been able to go through with it if I had figured it out in advance. It is just too. . .evil and planny. I am not that girl, really not. But it probably seems like I am. Or hopefully, he doesn't think I would do that.

Anyway, things are going well. I imagine that Sam will become my boyfriend soon, if he isn't already--I am not always the best at figuring these things out.

Feeling Better

I am feeling better. Quite a bit. I am rested (or more rested). I took a hot shower (at Anna, Branson and Chris'). I have a date tonight. Dinner at a chophouse and then the Symphony after--with Branford Marsalis. It should be very nice. I am so excited!

God dammit!

my feelings hurt today

Hot water

We were supposed to get this today, this morning, but not so much. Turns out our hot water heater is broken, and if it were turned on it would poison us with carbon monoxide.

So, I was really looking forward to a hot shower and shaving my legs, but that won't be happening at my house until. . . later?

Yeah, later. This blows.

Kittens are awesome

I would post pictures of Steve McQueen, but I am not sure where my digital camera is because well, not so much with the moved in. Living room is painted and partially unpacked (it will look sooooo awesome once we have finished). There will be a new hide-a-bed in it next weekend (which means comfy and free place to stay for visitors, hint, hint). Renee's room is painted and almost all put away. It looks great! It is super pink and bright, but cool looking.

The rest of the house not so much painted or really unpacked. That means my room and the book room/tv room. Also no internet, and the amazing unsecured network has disappeared or been secured and renamed. I have to get all that ready to be hooked up. It looks like we can get the internet pretty easy. I have a modem, so I shouldn't need the comcast stuff (which they lease to you making it cost more then just buying one), and they say it is easy to install yourself, so hopefully soon. Also soon would be TV with cable and on demand and DVR. Cable in two rooms on two tvs. How awesome will that be?

My show is tonight. The boy will be there. He asked me to do something (direct quote) Sunday on Saturday but unfortunately I had rehearsal and work on Sunday so I had to say not Sunday but later in the week. That request came via text but in response to friendly jokey text from me, so I am not sure if this is really progress. However his response to my text (which was something like moving is dumb and I hate boxes and painting, hope your weekend is more fun) was immediate and included invitation. I think this is giving me a little more understanding of the situation. Maybe?

Yeah, right. Like I have any clue what is going on.

I have a kitten

He is adorable and lively and he seems to love me--altough we have only hung out for about two hours. He lives in my room right now. However, he does not have a name yet. Right now it is looking like he will be named Colonel Brandon, Steve McQueen, or Bobby. The first two are front runners. I am not sure whether to go for the more nicknameable one or the full name only cat name. Maybe tonight he will behave in a manner that makes it apparent he is one or the other (for example if I find him at home trying to jump a motorbike over a barbed wire fence, buying me a new pianforte, or whatnot).

The date went well. There was a good show (although the audience was full of the cast of the bad show I saw last month--weird!), with a beautiful final moment--it was lit very dimly for last scene and they pulled all the light slowly away except a candle on the lead who sang the last bit of the final song and then he blew it out (it was a real candle). Really nice (oh the show was Steven Sondheim's "Passion"). Anna Gasteyer was really good! Then we had a drink and some food, and I had a good time, and I think he did too, and then he saw me to the train station.

So, date two went a lot like date one, but better show, less drinking.

Moving or "I wonder how I got that bruise?"

We have moved. There are boxes everywhere and someday we will paint (tomorrow? tonight? soon?). Next weekend/week everything should get settled in. This was the longest move ever!!! I have way, way too much shit, and I thought I had done a good job of throwing things out. Not so much.

We need another key for our apartment, we need gas, we need stuff for the kitty we get tomorrow morning. I don't know where our mailbox is. I cleaned a shower for three hours, and it went from gray and off-white to gleaming white--which was strangely satisfying and super gross all at once.

My show opened, barely, kind of. It was the train wreck of all train wrecks with the 'opening' essentially also functioning as only dress/tech. Somehow it was kind of good (it should have been awful). Someday I will write more about the show.

I have a date tonight, and hopefully once I am settled blogging will be a thing that happens more. Hopefully!

Also insanity seems to be spreading through my office.

"I Had a Date" and "Is This What It Is Like to Be a Boy?"

The date was mostly very good. The dinner was very nice and the drinks after the movie were excellent. Nice conversation. He was sweet and smart and funny and so was I (I think), and I believe we both generally had a good time at those things--if not a great time. This was a longish date and it totally could've been longer just fine, or that was how I felt.

We however saw the totally wrong first date movie. "Superbad" is very funny but very juvenile and teenage boy raunchy and by raunchy I mean RAUNCHY! Now this would've probably been less weird if we had in anyway known how the other would react to that sort of thing, but we didn't, so there was that kind of awkwardness. The wow this is weird to be watching this right now sort of awkward. Also, not a whole lot of opportunity for really much closeness at all. Not in dirty teenager comedy, maybe should've picked something a little more grown-up even if it would've been less funny. I would've swapped comedy for potential hand holding or something.

However the date recovered from that very well when we had drinks, and I saw him again last night although not in any formal capacity. He goes to see Anna's show, and I decided that if I got to see him, I should totally go under the auspices of "studying my character" which really translated to more seeing of him. I tried to intimate that in a text, but who knows how it came across.

This is where my wonder from the title comes in. I like Sam, and I think I like him a lot, but half the time I am not sure if he at all likes me except that he responds to my texts and comes to the movies with me. Now, I accept that he is a much more shy person than I am, and my spy Anna has led me to believe it has been a while since he really did much dating, but often I can't tell if he really likes me.

Is it this hard to date girls and do all the work? How do you keep asking them out? Is it really this uncomfortable? I am sorry. This is why I always tried to be decisive (even if sometimes I majorly failed) although chances are if my response wasn't enthusiastic, I wasn't interested.

Ugh. Hopefully sometime I will have time to have a date with him that makes some of this more clear. Except moving is taking up all my time. grrrrrr. . .

Ahh packing. . .

How I freaking hate it. Anyone have any spare moving fairies or house elves I could borrow? I really don't want to do it. I don't think mind moving the boxes, but the packing and the unpacking might just kill me. Plus we have a finite window for movng truckness. Seriously, I can't wait for like two weeks from now to happen because then I will have a new place and a cat and all sorts of things will probably have calmed the fuck down.

Seriously, I offer beer to help move. Seriously.

Oh and we have no TV. No new Heroes, no new How I Met Your Mother. God hates me.

Bossiness

I am a bossy person. I just am. And I don't think I can always avoid it. I have been bossy since I was a toddler--it is just way too late to fix it now. Sometimes this bossiness serves me well. It gets shit done, decisions get made. It can help me be productive and efficient at times (as long as I don't use my powers for evil--as my friend Chris would say).

I do try to avoid being bad bossy. By bad bossy I mean so bossy that I bully the people around me into doing what I want. Lately, I have not been sure if I am bullying a few key people in my life. Part of me very much wanted to just make them agree, but the other part also realized that it would be completely unfair to allow them to be swept away by my momentum. My momentum can be pretty overpowering. I acknowledge that when I get going on something, you have to resist me very strongly in order to change my momentum.

And I don't always recognize in the moment when I am being a bully--especially if people seem to just want to go along with me because I care more. I don't think my cares are automatically more important than the cares of those around me just because my cares are often louder. Striking the balance, and figuring out the cares of some of the people in my life who are not very likely to loudly state their own cares can be hard for me. I expect everyone to be able to voice their own cares as loudly as I voice mine, or rather I expect them to be as unable to suppress the voice of the cares as I am.

I don't want to be a bully, but I can live with some of my bossiness. I hope that the people in my life realize that all I need is to be told what they want too, and I will take it into characterization.

First Rehearsal

It is hard for me to be a smart ass without jazz hands.

Now obviously I mean figurative jazz hands. I don't make jazz hand with my actual hands when I am a smart ass, but I do sort of make jazz hands with my voice. I kind of take it up and out, but I am playing a smart ass who serves it way under, and that was a challenge for me in the first rehearsal. Hopefully it will get easier. That was the big thing I came away with at rehearsal, oh and I am playing someone a little more deeply rooted to the earth then I am, but I think I can fix that with appropriate warm-up preparation.

Rehearsal was fun though! All my scenes are with Anna, so it was just us and the director and the learning to be a stage manager. That was it, nice and cozy. Sunday I have my first big rehearsal with other people, you know like a week before I perform for the first time. So that is cool. And a little strange, but whatevs.

My date may have to rain check tonight because he has been very sick, and if he is still sick, then a date would not be all that much fun. Anna said he had to leave work yesterday he was so sick, and apparently he is not one of the people who ever leave work, so yeah. I will wait and hear.

Maybe not so much homeless

I emailed landlord of the perfect location apartment this morning, and I should hear back from him soon. We are going to take it. It isn't perfect, but it is in the perfect place, and we get to paint it!!!

This is a huge relief. Seriously, I think I had been making myself ill over this. Soon there will be a housewarming party, and anyone who wants to help paint can.

Also, I have a date tomorrow night. That is all.

BTW

Still fucking homeless. The apartment we looked at was a teeny tiny hole. There was no closet in one bedroom, only the couch would fit in the living room. So not happening. Some hot prospects on Craig's List though, even one close to Pier 1 and close to Fullerton bus. That would work.

Project Success

That's me. I seem to have become a project for my friend Anna because I went and got headshots, so she thought I needed to have them sent to the director of the show she is in. That led to a little cold-read audition last night that led to a part. Yeah, I am in a show. In fact, I am in a lesbian stage soap opera (it is a soap opera that is a play that is in a bar with a new episode every week set in the GLBT community).

I am going to replace another actress who is leaving, and my friend Anna apparently just finagled me a gig where I play her new best friend. So, first rehearsal tomorrow and first show two weeks from yesterday (oh holy fuck I just realized that), plus I don't get a final script until Wednesday. Goody, that will be nice. Thank god I can memorize lines on the bus.

By the way, this is the same Anna who arranged for me to meet the boy she works with because apparently a month or so ago she woke up, took a look at my life, and thought, "I could do this better." Not that I am complaining, it is possible she is doing it better. Now if she could arrange for me to get a much better paying job that works me much less. Hmmmm. . . Just kidding.

Although, now I am glad that I hadn't had time to call and ask the new guy to go to the movies with me on Wednesday because I would've had to stand him up (and that would've been terribly not ok for first date). So, tonight I am going to call him and ask him to a movie on Thursday night because I have decided I am going to be a girl who asks boys on dates. (Really just this one boy).

Sidebar, kind of scared of the part I am getting in the show. Unlike anything I had done in a long time before I took a long time off from acting, must work hard on supressing lame ingenue tendencies as they will fuck up this part. Might have to get all jaguar up in here--actually, that would work awesome! Hmmm...

Seriously?

I am so tired right now my brain has turned to mush and might well give up. However, I maybe found a place to live. It is literally right down the block (we would go from 1242 to 1228) and we might be able to start moving in tomorrow, assuming I don't hate it when I see it (and maybe not even then) and the landlord lets us live there. Please, please, please!

Lesson Learned

That is only to be expected if this is the new CW. After all my dithering last week, I learned a lesson over the weekend that basically told me to shut the hell up (while still seeming like an episode of a TV show).

I had a very eventful weekend that started with a boat cruise and ended with an emergency room visit with some flaming cheese in between (don't worry, none of those things were related).

My friend Anna has been trying to set me up with her friend Sam for some tme--but she has been pursuing this in a way that left me a little worried. Not that she gave me good reason to be worried, it s just that when your friends are trying to set you up they sometimes tell you strange things that sound awful to you but actually are not at all (see the scene from "When Harry Met Sally" where they talk about whether or not having a good personality means a woman is or is not attractive). Sally is attractive and she has a good personality, but you can see where the guys are coming from. Anyway, on boat cruise I meet Anna's friend Sam and for the five seconds he talks to me he seems as nice as you can seem in five seconds. Then he doesn't talk to me again--definitely reaffirming my feelings that I am the scary ogre girl.

Also, this is a work party for his work, and it turns out Anna may have told half of the people there that she intends me for Sam, and I look pretty good (having dressed and made up to you know be a knockout or at least as close to knock out status as possible--ie I look like my headshots). Sam is the head or someone very close to the head of their IT dept and is a little bit of a nerd, and when I was described as "my goofy friend Heather" I think I was meant to look more goofy and less fashionable then I managed to pull off that night. I was supposed to look more like I regularly do, but somehow I morphed into intimidating hot girl--lord knows how. Anyway, he was a little shy, and I can be overwhelming to shy types. Plus, while on the boat, it seemed like a total bust.

Then we all went to a few bars (including a piano bar because he plays and has his own baby grand and is a bit of a piano nerd). Anyway, then there was talking and later, when a group of us was back at his apartment, there was more talking. This was about the time I learned my lesson. It turns out that sometimes I forget actually can be fairly decisive, and there is a world of difference between wanting to go on a date with someone (this Sam person, if you need an example) and not really wanting to go on a date with someone but somehow feeling you ought to (ie some other case I may have talked about). This especially uncomplicated when all people involved live in the same place. So yeah. There is that. (PS nothing really excited has happened yet, so don't get your panties in a bunch. All that's happened is that I think I am going to ask him to a movie.)

The flaming cheese was at a Greek town restaurant Saturday night, and the hospital was my roommate this morning, although I am pleased to report that she is doing fine. Although we can't seem to find an apartment to save our souls. We thought we had one, but nope. Not so.

But I have an audition tonight. Woo hoo!

Would I be a jerk if. . .?

See, I have this dilemma. A friend of mine here in Chicago seems to be kind of, well, in love with me for lack of a better explanation. A very long time ago, when we first met and before we were friends, we had a fling (and by fling I really mean one night stand). This fling is totally common knowledge amongst pretty much everyone we know because we kind of talk and joke about it constantly.

I was kind of a bitch to him right after it happened because I was a big raw emotional nerve still smarting from a really scarring break-up that happened mere months before and because I didn't really know him and kind of assumed he was just a tool (because nice, good guys were not as useful in my sad little brain as jerks were in getting back at aforementioned ex-boyfriend who had no idea any of this was happening--yeah, I know that makes no sense but it is an accurate representation of what my brain was thinking at the time, I told you I was a hot mess).

Then we got to be friends, and we are both part of the posse that moved from the University of Idaho to Chicago, and that group has formed a sort of family unit here. We hang out a lot, we celebrate family holidays together, and we overlook the fact that some of the people in the group have no love for others of the people in the group (Brian Bush and Angie are the example there), but we just decide to be together in spite of that--just like a real family. Now not all parts of this group spend equal time together. There are the girls who watch silly movies, and no boys come shopping with Schlegs and I (except sometimes Plummer in capacity as gay best friend), and there is the baseball fanatic group, and the football fanatic group, etc. The person who is in love with me and I tend mostly to see eachother only occassionally at the big whole "family" events.

Last spring, I first noticed the, "Hey, I think he might think he likes me!" business, but he had just gotten pretty horrificly dumped by a way serious girlfriend, so I chalked it up to a crush that would soon pass, like over the summer which he was spending in New Mexico. But he is back, and it seems not to have passed. It might have gotten more serious.

Now pretty much all of our friends here would be thrilled if we got together, and he is a good guy and I admit that there is some palpable attraction between the two of us, BUT (and I know you all knew that was coming) here is the thing. If I felt this way about a guy, just a random guy who nobody else really knew, I would for sure pursue it in a casual, "Let's just have fun and see where it goes," sort of way. However, I don't think this guy sees us in those terms, I think that he would see anything starting between us as FOR REALS. We jokingly compare him to a girl (and he once said there is a tiny little vagina in his heart--to defend his tears during "The Notebook"), and in this case it is true--he would play-forward the relationship in his mind (probably to our wedding/happily ever after) like girls are generally assumed to do.

Now, if this was again just a guy, that probably wouldn't give me too much pause, but he isn't just a guy. He is part of my family here, and if we didn't work out (and I am not really feeling this as more then just a for fun thing instead of a massive relationship thing), what would that do to our entire family? I think that would be rough. I also think it would especially suck to be the villain in that piece, and it seems very likely that that is exactly what I would be, so I have chosen the path where I just leave this alone unless I start to feel that I would be interested in giving this a big serious relationship go.

All that is background to the current dilemma. He has asked me to go with him to the opening of The Crucible at Steppenwolf. It would mean a free ticket to the show as well as an invitation to the cast, crew, important donors opening party because he works in their costume shop and as a member of the greater crew, has earned a spot for him and a +1. Now, he didn't couch this as a date in any way, but this will be the second or third time he has chosen me out of the group of our family and friends to get to do something like this. In fact, the only time he hasn't chosen me, he took Brian Bush when they lived together or he took the now ex-girlfriend, or he took all three of us, and that was before anyone else lived here. Since the others have moved here, and he has lived alone, he only seems to invite me. So, I have a suspiscion that he is using things he knows I will find irresistable to end up on a date-like situation with me. I really want to go, but I don't want to be a total jerk and keep using him in a manner that kind of feels like stringing him along. I really don't know what to do because I feel like I either get to not be a jerk or go to the fancy-schmancy opening. Any sort of help, advice, perspective is totally welcome in the coments.

Food for thought

Heretic. That is the name of an episode of "This American Life" about a preacher from Oklahoma City who attended Oral Roberts University and was a major force in the Pentecostal and Charismatic Evengelical Movement until a few years ago when other evangelicals branded him a heretic because he stopped believing in and preaching hell.

He is a scholarly pastor, and he has studied the books of the Bible in their original Greek and Hebrew. In fact, he has spent a good deal of time trying to trace his understanding of Biblical scripture to their oldest extant versions because he wanted to be sure that his understanding was as accurate as possible. This episode told the story of how that led him to what he calls a revelation from God that a truly loving God would not send anyone to Hell, that there is no Hell. Everyone is saved. And it changed his life. It nearly destroyed his 5,000 people a Sunday church, and he went from being one of the most influential pastors in the United States to one of the least influential pastors in Oklahoma City all because he preached a Gospel of Inclusion.

Hellfire and demons, to God loves everyone. I reccomend you go to the "This American Life" website and find their archive page for the year 2006. In Novemeber (I think) the episode "Heretic" aired, and it is an amazing revelatory story that made me understand a lot more about people of strong faith in my life, and it actually gave me a new and refreshing perspective on faith (No I am not going to go all crazy Bible thumping on you or even on me). Go the page, stream the episode, come on back and talk about it in the comments.

Meet the soon to be member of my family

I don't know whether or not it is a boy or a girl. My friend/coworker Sherry found the teeny little one in her alley last night, and she has been so kind as to hold onto baby kitten until we get a new kitten friendly apartment in October. Yes!!!! I am so excited.

(Although, apparently new kitties are going around, my friends Robyn and Joe just got one too!)

Bad Shakespeare

Last night Chris Plummer and I saw some. It was Cymbeline at the Chicago Shakespeare Theatre, and it was not good. In fact, it was a good deal like the moneyed Shakespeare productions they make fun of in the Canadian TV show "Slings and Arrows." There was no life in it, there was mostly pretty words and bad, cartoonish characterizations (seriously only an idiot Imogen would've fallen for that Iacomo), and the costume design concept seemed to be color vomited all over the stage. There was some very Caisley-esque flag waving and some cool special effects (which were cool even if really odd in the context of the world of the play, but they were in fact better then watching the story).

Posthumus was good. I actually would've liked to have seen him in a production where the other actors were as good and generous and unencumbered with excessive frivolity, although I wonder how the director allowed him to be so plain--seeing as everyone else seemed to be encouraged to be ridiculous.

Thank God we didn't pay for our tickets (which were in excellent seats--the one excellent thing I can say for the production, although the lighting design was quite good too). I am glad I thanked Holly (my friend who gave me them) before I saw it, so it could sound sincere.

Oh, and for fans of "Gray's Anatomy" the actor who played Posthumus was the pregnant man that Christina and Meredith stole from the psych ward at the beginning of season two (at least, I think that happened in early season two).

It was bad. Chris and I almost inappropriately giggled several times and had to clutch each other at other moments too. In the show's defense, it was their first preview, so it is likely that we saw the show at its worse, but even if it doubly improves by opening, it will still be a bad production.

Long weekend

Although I will work through part of it. It will be a moving weekend too as we move Luke Daigle in and move Jon and Sara to new digs. Plus Chris and I will have a Chris and Heather day on Monday.

Also, my lovely friend Holly got me free tickets to Cymbeline next week at the Chicago Shakespeare Festival. Hopefully it will be better then the other show that I saw there.

Work has been ridiculous this week! Today I got emails pertaining to how rude and unprofessional I am and how diligent and professional I am. Crazy person, super crazy person is the one who emailed me (well, really the CFO and then she emailed my boss and I) about me being rude, but really she is rude. I was trying to help her, and I was trying to keep her out of my hunt by asking her to sit in reception while I checked on things, but she refused to sit down and instead she followed me around and hovered outside my office and just kept coming into it. Ugh, it was infuriating, and I could find no one to help me out because it all happened before 8:45 in the morning. No one else was in here yet.

The other one was a problem I solved that was created by an idiot who used to work here but left last month. He took a check from a woman, but then never bothered to tell accounting that there was a check buried in the middle of some paperwork. So we were harassing her about non-payment. I felt terrible. So, I figured things out, fixed it, apologized, let her believe the other guy basically got fired for fucking things up (totally not true, but totally something you would read into my email if you were pissed), blamed the idiot, and reassured her we had replaced him with far more competent people (again, not so much true, his replacement also kind of a tool).

Awesome. I love work and stupid people. Mostly I love stupid people. [pause] Psych.

Everything Changes

Like roommates and homes. New roommate, not staying roommate. She is basically back in California for good. New apartment search is underway.

Other people seem to be pissed at me for no reason. Other people might feel differently. Mostly, I just want a nice, cheap apartment to magically appear for October, plus people to move all my stuff for free. House elves could do that, they don't have to be people.

I saw the Sound of Music last night in Grant Park under the stars. It was way fun, and Sara and Chris came with. Actually Sara Jo was totally responsible for the really awesome patch of blanket real estate we got. It ruled. Plus we booed at Nazis and cheered for nuns and got squeamish every time there was kissing and romance (and we booed for Baroness Schrader). I recommend outdoor film fests--there was a ton of people there!! I could hardly believe it when I left our seat to go pee in the middle of the boring Maria back to the abbey part. Next year everyone should come with me.

Heather Simpson

This is my headshot as a Simpson. Thank you Burger King.

I made it through

I have been watching season three of House on DVD, and I was really scared about watching the Tritter arc. It just made me so angry when it was happening. So ANGRY!!!! A whole disc and part of two others with it being every episode? Frightening, but I finished it. Now I am just on regular schmegular episodes, episodes I have never seen. Awesome! Finally some reward.

Woo Hooo Storm!

We had a biggun last night/yesterday! You may have seen it on TV. Lots of people are without power, and my work is kind of one of them. I say kind of because we have just enough power for ComEd not to worry about fixing us, but not enough power for screen print production to work and barely enough power to do anything in embroidery, also there is no air conditioning. Yeah, it is awesome here. Not really.

Ummmm, but at least I am at work. Also someone is buying us doughnuts. That's good right?

No takers

No one wanted to join my cult. Sally even pointed out that it wasn't really my preaching that drove them to God. All that is true. I guess that puts a damper on my cult.

I am totally sick. I was a little sick on Monday, Tuesday was crappy at regular work, so I called off second work. Then I only went in for a few hours on Monday, and I did not go in today. This evening I am feeling quite a bit better--which means my sinuses only feel about a quarter full of crap instead of brimming over with junk. Also my eyes are hardly watering, and I don't feel off balance with all the shit in my ears.

I have been watching House season 3 on DVD and the BBC documentary Jekyll and AMC's series Mad Men, so it isn't like I am not doing anything. I also did some dishes, and I may still do some laundry and clean my room again. It seems I am always cleaning my room. I don't know how I make such a mess of it so much of the time.

Chris Plummer lives here now, and I love him even if I must cancel our meetings due to illness, well and due to the fact that we are in the middle of a crazy ass thrunderstorm that has knocked some power out--not mine, obviously or this blogging thing would be very hard.

Patterns

I have been finding them in things that had formerly seemed not at all my fault, nothing to do with ME, I just stumbled into them. Well, turns out if I stretch the window I am looking at out just a little bit, there is more of a pattern then I thought. I seem to like brashness that is really not much more then a thin veneer over "I don't know what the heck I am doing, but grasping at any straw that comes my way might be a good way to sum this up."

Why would I seek this out, is my new question. Do I like feeling smugly superior in a, "Yes I may be a mess but not quite as big a mess as this guy I am standing next to," sort of way? Do I have a hero complex heretofore unoticed by myself? I don't necessarily think I am one to look for or latch onto the easy answers (at least not at this stage in my life), but yet I end up with (or chasing after) guys who do. In fact, in my dating history (or would-be dating history) I am a little hard pressed to find someone who doesn't fall squarely in this category (except maybe one boyfriend way back in undergrad who I dated for like 5 minutes).

Sometimes the answers they find freak me the fuck out--see all things related to the great sad heap I became after Jesus boy dumped me for aforementioned Jesus. That was all kinds of smarting from serious betrayal--or at least that is how I felt, seriously betrayed, like he was all sneaky in falling for fundamentalist Christianity.

I have been contemplating this pattern for a few days now and the possible implications it has for me, and I have come up with a whole lot (I am really good at overanalyzing things like this), but nothing I have come up with has been very illuminating or satisfying. It just leads me to more thinking and mulling.

Horoscope widget

On my igoogle homepage, I have a widget for my horoscope. I put it one there because I thought it would be fun and funny and a nice silly way to greet the morning at work. Now I am not so sure, because this Rick Levine guy is following me. He must be, plus he is probably listening to my thoughts because it has been creepy right on lately! I mean, I guess it could all be vague enough to be read into, but it also seems to be focusing on topics or situations that are at the forefront of my mind right now. It is kind of freaking me out.

Thank you for all the lovely feedback on my headshots (comments on Wranglers notwithstanding, yeah Lauren I am looking at you). I actually will probably use the two that you all like the most as my main two shots.

Hopefully I will blog more next week when I won't have worked over 40 hours by the time I got to bed on Wednesday night (and I haven't even seen "My Boys" yet!

Headshots have arrived

It is bizarrely strange to look at headshots of yourself in large groups. I find it especially odd since I never really feel like they look all that much like me. Now I don't mean that I think they look way different or anything. I very much recognize close similarities to myself, but they never look quite like I think that I look. It is more like looking at photos of much older family members when they were young or even a cousin or a sister who just shares a striking resemblance.

They turned out great though. Tons of good ones to pick from which is great. There aren't too many serious faces because well my face just looks weird when I am being serious. It does. I look like I am faking--not at all what you want in a headshot. If you are on My Space, I have them posted in my photos, please have a look (I know that some of you already have) weigh in, etc. I will post a few of the top, top ones here for feedback too, and if you have a flikr account, they will be there, and I can invite you to be my friend and family so that you can look at them.

Here we go:










The second one is my favorite. :) Tell me what you think.

Oh, also, I really feel like I do not remotely look my age. I kind of knew that, but looking at some of these photos, it is astounding I have ever been able to buy drinks without getting carded! It is ridiculous how young I look. I may look older in some of my senior photos--which were taken ELEVEN years ago, right before my senior year.

Headshots

I got some taken last week by Krysta--while she was in Chicago visiting. They are in the mail to me as we speak (as is the complete series of "Freaks and Geeks" and "Undeclared" because I caved and bought them--ooh, also Simpsons Road Rage Jon!!!!). I am excited! I can't wait to see the CD of them. Although this means I probably should get some use out of them which means I need to dust off the old resume and memorize some audition pieces and maybe put myself out there like Jon and Sara and Anna.

I actually feel okay with the idea whereas fairly recently, I might have cried at the thought of it. Plus, I need to reawaken the old acting/theatre muscles somehow if we are going to start a company.

TV in my room

No cable in my room, just TV. But it has a DVD player and a VCR, and I watched a movie from my bed last night, until way too late. I was just going to watch part of the movie, but no the whole movie made me watch it, and it was only mediocre at best ("Miss Potter"). It seems I should avoid having cable in my room as that will be worse--being able to watch movies there might be bad enough. Although it might help me catch up on my Netflix.

Tonight is dinner and a movie night with my boss and my roomie (who also works with me). Plus new roomie comes back from California. We are going to a pretty fabulous restaurant where I love the food, and then to see the "Becoming Jane" movie (becuase it is official Heather watches British writers biopics night--what's next "Sylvia"?). I am excited. The movie has gotten good reviews as a light but thoroughly entertaining bit of fluffy cinema, and I am so down with that.

Also, I programmed a universal remote all by myself last night. I was pretty impressed by that feat. Usually those stupid things defeat me.

Clean room

Kind of. I mean, I dug through all sorts of stuff and pitched a bunch of trashy clothes, and got stuff together for doing laundry. And then I didn't do laundry, and then I haven't finished putting all the stuff on my bed away. It is all clothes. They just need to be hung back up in the closet or folded and put in drawers.

I also need to get the right cables to connect all of our electronics.

Ambi-typterous

I noticed the other day at work that I can use a calculator just as quickly with my non-dominant hand as with my dominant one. My calculator sits to the left of me (well the physical one I use, I also usually have one open on my computer), and I noticed that at some point I stopped reaching across with my right hand to use it and started just using my left to operate it. This means I am using my mouse with my right hand and being all kinds of efficient office girl.

Who knew? I can barely make my left hand function most of the time. It is like the Boo Radley of my hands, but it sneaks out to save the day just when you least expect it.

(Although, now that I think of it, I could always switch hit back in my middle school slow pitch softball days.)

Tired

But fortunately, only one night of work this week. There will be some cleaning (someday I swear). Today there wasn't because Lifetime movies made from Nora Roberts books were calling my name. I am whupped. I need to pay some bills and get me to bed.

Someday I will be back to being mildly interesting. Someday. Sigh.

Augh!

My room could be classified as a national disaster area right now. It is totally a mess, and I really need to clean it up. I need to trash some stuff in it. I need to Stacey and Clintonize my wardrobe (because quite frankly a lot of it needs to be cruelly pruned--there is no reason to where clothes that you know make you look bad, and yet skipping laundry makes that seem like a good plan). Plus, that will let me know what I need to hit the american apparel and dickies websites for (yea for work perks).

I also need to find a way to hook up my television in it, and maybe even attach some cable to it (the television). DVD and cable in my very own room! Maybe Renee and I should look into what it would cost to get DVR, maybe I could have some DVR in my room? We probably have to have the cable guy come out and fix the cable right now anyway (the cable sucks and barely gives us a good picture). I bought a TV since we were losing old roommate (second hand from my boss), and then new roommate has a much bigger TV.

Hmmm. . .

Apparently I got fun

This seems to be a sort of consensus among my friends. Once upon a time I was way less fun, but I seem to have remedied that. Anna Schlegs has called it coming into my own. Yolanda says that I always seemed to be a little prissy and conservative when I was at the U of I. Sabrina thought I had been body snatched by boring aliens.

I am still not entirely sure what Anna means, but it turns out that living far from my family and my little small town formative years allowed me to relax a little. Also that small-town upbringing meant I couldn't have escaped without a little bit of priss and a thin residue of conservative values (they end up rubbing off on you just where you least expect it, and they stick like a stubborn grease stain, with even their shadow lingering long after the dirt is gone). But I don't feel all that different now. I don't think I act any differently or live my life in such a drastically different manner.

Maybe Yolanda and Anna are just seeing new sides of myself, or maybe I am more changed than I realize? Maybe I have entered a new phase in my life and this new phase has brought with it a little bit of a new woman? Maybe the new girl will win the lotto?

Back at work, sigh

So, here I am back in Chicago. Anna and I went out for dinner last night, and I filled her in on all that happened away. Drama at the wedding, gossip gleaned from the wedding, drama that happened here while I was gone to the wedding. Basically people I know are pretty ridiculous, and it turns out I may have to include myself in that number.

Johnny B and I rehashed the HP7 on the phone, and I heard from he and SJ how the honeymoon was. I remembered that Courtney reads this blog (or has in the past), and it turns out she is a little intrigued by the me and David-ness that has been written about here.

Speaking of the me and David-ness, we have gotten into two long and borderline heated discussions about both politics and religion (one each) in the less than a week since I last saw him in person. Heated because we don't really agree on anything in those veins. He's a Republican, and I am a dyed-in-the-wool idealist of a Democrat. I admire people of faith but really feel it hasn't worked for me in a long, long time, and I am easily turned off by the partisanship of most religions (and the I'm right, you're wrong mentality it engenders). He has been attending Christ Church in Moscow. I only discovered that last night. Yeah, Christ Church (Sally you read that right, it is who you think)--their pastor has come under fire from many, many people and groups including the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am not a fan of their views. Yeah, so that was quite a shock. Churches are one thing, but I didn't imagine that people I knew would attend that church of all churches (and my own prejudice rears its head).

Now I am beginning to question what it is I find attractive in the kind of guys who initially seem like me, but are strongly persuaded by right-wing Christian Fundamentalist Evenagelicals? Really, what the heck? This is not the first time for me--many of you know the story of the ex-boyfriend who came to be known as Jesus Boy. It is kind of freaking me out. I am probably beginning to blow it all out of proportion. But it was shocking to me.

Quick catch up

So, I am at my parents house where it turns out I spent very little of my vacation.

When flying out of O'Hare, I got just delayed enough to miss my connecting flight. That meant, I wasn't going to get to Portland until almost 9pm, my hometown until after midnight, and the earliest I would get to Moscow (and David) would be two or three in the morning (to get up and leave by 7). So, I convinced David to come down to my parents house and we would leave from there.

Yup, David came to my parents house. Yup, that was a little odd. He was asleep in the guest room when I got there. My mother told him, "Thanks for taking my daughter," when we left. Awesome. Seeing him was actually really great. The trip to Twin Falls took 1million years, but it was great being in the car with him.

The wedding was outstanding. I saw a million people I had missed, and got at least that many hugs from people I loved. The bride did a kegstand in her gown, and the bride and groom went bar hopping with us all afterwards.

I drove back to almost home with Yolanda, and we had a great time catching up. It sucked having to say goodbye to David--knowing how very close he really was. So, after spending Monday at home (finishing Harry Potter 6, not yet starting on 7), I rented a car on Tuesday to go visit Moscow, auspiciously to see friends although only my parents were kidded by that pretty far-fetched lie. I spent one day with David, that turned into two, and I got to see a few other people too (like Sally, and Maggie in Sally's husband's play).

I just got home from that. Tonight I have a fancy little party to attend, and my grandparents are coming up to be sure to see me, and to take me back to Portland on their way home.

More later, probably once I am back in Chicago.

Thanks

Blog Slacker

Right here. That's me. I know, I know, but I have been busy with two works and people in town and getting ready for new roommate and long trip and a jillion other lame excuses. Plus, it won't probably get better while on my trip because my parents have dial-up, and who knows when I will have time on the weekends of the trip.

Also, all my carefully laid plans for the trip went terribly astray--which seems to be what my plans have been doing lately, maybe I should come up with plans I don't really want to happen and see what I get instead, at this point, they can't be worse. Yo was going to drive me from Portland to wedding, and I was just going to get to her house Friday night. Then she couldn't leave until way later then I wanted to (we'd get there just before the wedding, and I was hoping for a little more time to get dolled up at least--I mean, you saw the dress). So I was going to fall back onto plan B.

Plan B meant my dad coming to get me in Portland (totally fine) and driving my sister's car. Not fine. My sister's car got a flat tire in it that needs replaced (as really do all of her tires--something she planned to do in the fall), but it got the flat while my mom drove the car back from the airport in Seattle where she had put my sis on a plane to a Carolina (I don't remember which one). So, my sister isn't around to get it fixed. This made my mother vaguely hysterical--which is often her reaction to planning things. Obviously my sister can't make the tires get fixed from Whatever-lina (yeah, like she wasn't going to get my dad to go with her to do it because she was the real necessary one there?). So the car is out.

David Hathaway generously offered to drive me to the wedding if I could get to Moscow before Saturday morning early when he was leaving, but if my family was balking at picking me up from Portland, how much more would they balk at getting me to Moscow? I put the plan into the mix anyway.

Then my mom wanted me to change my flight. Too expensive. Thought about renting a freaking car for myself--that I would return to Pasco--but it was kind of out of budget. Then my mom was going to buy me a round trip flight from Portland to Pasco Friday night (a really worthy plan, it would've worked had any left after I landed in Portland). Then things spun out of control!

Since the Portland-Pasco round trip didn't work, my mom thought she would buy me a flight to Boise. Her plan was fly into Boise late Friday night, and I would stay with cousins I barely know. Somehow someone (maybe Hath) would pick me up in Boise and get me to Twin Falls. Then I would fly back to Portland on Sunday and from Portland to Pasco Monday morning, flying back to Portland on Thursday. Does your brain hurt? Do you realize how much of my vacation I would spend in and out of airports?

At this point, I kind of put my foot down, and tried to bring some reason back to my mother. With two flights, it was no longer more cost effective then driving. This is the first time I have seen most of my family in a year, and I would rather spend it with them--even in a car driving in circles--then with strangers at airports and on planes. Dad can drive to Portland and back. Dad or Dan can get me to Moscow. Yes, the Pasco-Portland round trip would've been a great idea were it possible. But it isn't.

My mother still wanted to sort things out. Then I called her back several hours later. She had calmed down, thought rationally about some things, and decided on this plan. My dad will get me in Portland at 6:30pm on Friday. Once home, my brother and some friends will be roped into driving me to Moscow that night (because he would be way more likely to like a late night drive then a get up at the ass crack of dawn drive). I will be delivered to David Hathaway's house around midnight-ish. The next morning Hathaway and I will drive to the wedding together.

Phew! Yes it was as mellow dramatic and complicated as all that. My mom talks just as fast as I do.

So, Sally it looks like I will get to Moscow, but for a few brief hours that will hopefully include some sleep since it will feel like two in the morning to me.