Hollow-dinner Party

We decided to have a few people over for some mildly scary movies tonight. By that we mean for sure some "Shawn of the Dead" and then maybe some thrillers like "Dead Again" or some Hitchcock that are all politely on demand with Netflix, so we can stream them through the Roku player. Which means that we have been up all day doing tasks (and I was extra good and got up and did an exercise video!) including some cleaning and quite a bit of shopping and prepping for the cooking.

Our initially hoping to plan towards spooky but now planned towards snacky menu includes:

A black bean soup (seasoned with bacon) that Sam is preparing
A tray of veggies (focused around carrots and orange bell peppers for the holiday-me
Some Roasted Red Pepper Hummus and a ranch dip (both store bought or mix)-me
Chocolate Chunk and Spiced Nut cookies-Sam
Gorgonzola, Honey, Pear Bruchetta (super easy and delicious from Giada)-me
And Sam is simmering some hot spiced cider that is making the house smell awesome!!

Also since it is a movie night we have a ton of microwave popcorn ready to be fresh hot popped and since it is Halloween there is a bowl full of candy even though we do not get trick-or-treat-ers in our building.

It will only be about six of us in total, but it should be a very nice night!

Nice Skin, it seems like

All September and some of the beginning of October I was suffering from annoying skin. It wasn't bad, and I didn't have acne or anything but it wasn't cool. I felt like I could never get my face clean and it just was icky skin.

Then I heard about this face cleaning brush that uses all fancy sonic movement like the fancy sonic toothbrush, but it was super expensive and I had no idea if it worked. Then a fun blogger (who is the sister of my coworker) started blogging that she was using it at Broke Ass Bride and that it was great. And around that time I got a big gift card to one of the few places you can buy it, so it would only cost me about $40 instead of $160 (including tax) for the baby version of it.

So I got it, but I was super nervous. And I have been using it for three weeks or maybe a bit more, and my skin is fixed. It is back to what it used to be or even better. It is soft and smooth and just feels amazing. Now I would be that part of my improvement is due to buying a big fancy expensive thing making me be a lot more serious about my whole skin regimen. Now I for sure cleanse with toner and moisturizer and am much more diligent about cleaning two times a day. That is part of the improvement (likely) but not all of it. This machine is awesome.

If you are serious about your skin or are having major skin issues or just have a crap ton of money to blow, I would suggest this. I have a Clarisonic Mia face cleaner thingy . Mine is white and not the totally lame pink one. I am not super fond of their cleanser that comes with it, so I bought a milk cleanser from Bliss Labs and I use either drug store witch hazel as my toner or one by H2O+ and during the day I moisturize with a Eucerin one with like a 30 spf and at night I use H20+ hydrater and now I have a lovely, lovely face with beautiful skin.

I did not receive any sort of payment or free shit for this post (although lord I wish I would have).

Sinus Infection confirmed and other news

Actually it might just be inflammation, my doctor didn't actually call it an infection.  But you can kind of see that above my left eye there is a puffiness and some swelling from super grody sinuses that isn't above my right eye which is why I get bad headaches and feel kind of crappy of late. 

 

And Donald will be pleased to note that she didn't even suggest antibiotics as a remedy.  She immediately got me a big prescription (with a refill in the next year) for some serious decongestant with anti-histamine, so I should be able to clear this up and be ready for the next time my sinuses fill more fiercely than the usual over the counter meds can take care of.

 

In the other news, I went to the taping of "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me: The NPR News Quiz" with Sallyacious last night because Luke Burbank (a guest on the panel and the host of my favorite imaginary radio show-that means podcast-TBTL) gave them to me!  I was his VIP guest!!  We sat in the front row (right in front of the audience mic, so you might even hear me).  It was a super funny version of the show with Luke and Julia Sweeney and Ask Aimee (Dickenson) as the panel.

 

Plus I went up and met him after the show, and he was super nice and funny and really really cool.  He gave Sally a hard time about being an eleven and not a ten, but I will start guiding her towards episodes and segments that I think she would really like (because some of the show not really up her alley).

 

It was an awesome end to a day that started with me waking up to no alarm after I was supposed to be at work in a week where Sam and I had been having difficulties (see previous posts, those things continued to be a challenge) and I had been suffering from terrible sinus headaches and some insomnia.  A good laugh and a big surprise were just what I needed, and when I met him afterwards he told me that he picked out of the list, someone he thought would be fun and would really enjoy going, so he even picked me which is a wonderful feeling!

Seriously feeling not cool

I think it is likely to be sinusitis (or sinus infection) because I have headache and nausea and some slight teeth and jaw pain and some tenderness and pain around the eyes, so yes I will be calling my doctor to see if I can get in and get some serious decongestants to clear this shit up.

Ick.

A Whole New Plan

So, as of the end of summer Sam seemed to have kicked the physical addiction of needing to drink everyday, but since then he usually has a major relapse every two-three weeks that lasts a day or two and is some serious binging often into late at night. This usually left me really upset at him and him feeling really awful. And it was just a really terrible cycle that we were trapped in of really great times followed by ragingly awful times that often included big fights.

A friend of mine's stepdad is a therapist specializing in addiction medicine and has done a lot of research on it. He is especially interested in a concept called harm reduction which woks on fixing the emotional and psychological problems/issues that cause people to fill them with addictions and the risky behavior that goes with it. Does this sound familiar? Basically the idea is that for people who instant abstinence isn't working or sustainable for (again familiar), should maybe just focus on reducing the harm they do to themselves and their life while working with their therapist to fix (long term) the underlying emotional and psychological bits.

Sam has been seeing a therapist. And the binging was hurting me as much or more than it hurt Sam. So, we decided to sort of try a harm reduction approach. I asked him to come up with a max limit of drinking for any given week that he felt he could comfortably stay within the limits of, and I would go along with that and not be a crazy person as long as his plan included the following: drinking everyday was unacceptable, it needed to be kind of close to the limits that his doctor said wouldn't fuck with his medicine, and that it ABSOLUTELY COULD NOT include drinking by himself alone late at night and preferably had all his drinking chaperoned. I picked those limits because that is what makes me a crazy deranged person.

As part of the plan, we would both agree that this is not a judgment plan or a final plan. It is a work in progress, and we both needed to be very clear and very vocal if it wasn't working for us, so we could make adjustments that reduced the harm to our relationship as necessary, and we would give everything a fighting chance to work. Because quite frankly I don't really care if he drinks now that he doesn't need to drink a bottle of wine everyday. I care that he gets better, and I care that he doesn't destroy our relationship with the crazy binging.

So, Sam came up with the following plan. He can drink up to three times a week (with a week being Monday-Sunday). However, if he is drinking on a work night, he has to have less than two drinks and if he is drinking on a Friday or Saturday or other non-work night, he may have up to four drinks.

Last night we had our first test. We had a bottle of wine, and he had three glasses, so he didn't even hit the maximum (and I admitted to him that I was really worried that he would strain the maximums of this every time instead of just having it be something he could sometimes live well within the margins of). Hopefully this will be a better working solution for us. And hopefully he will get the emotional wounds he needs healed fixed up by his head shrinker.

Things to Ponder

Via Chris P, it occurred to me that Sam and I cannot actually have a baby. At least not while we have Steve McQueen because he would totally eat a baby. It would be an enemy for him to destroy. You know he would.

Envision this: A little infant lying on the floor on a baby blanket for tummy time. A blanket that sort of functions like a rug, a rug that Steve will know belongs to him because all rug like thing belong to him. A rug that some kicky move-y thing is lying on. A rug that must be liberated from said smelly kicky move-y thing by any means necessary which in Steve's case means biting and kicking and force. So, yeah, we can't have a baby, and I am really beginning to rethink this having another kitty business because I don't want to make Steve unhappy. And this means that I have become one of those crazy neurotic city people who's kitty is their baby. But you know what? I think I am fine with that.

This is not a depressing or disturbing post (but if you do not like those skip the following two)

My kitty cuddled up and was loving to me for a large portion of last night, and that was awesome.

I am going to be good and start using the treadmill in the exercise room, even as I plan to read while I am on it. Just going to crank the amount it ramps up as I walk on it.

Yesterday I got in the mail a copy of a Life Magazine from 1958 that features a spread on Mies van der Rohe and even more our apartment building and its neighbor/twin. It is pretty awesome. So is the magazine with its ads and products and life from that era (these kind of appalling old recipies that I almost want to make just because they seem so ridiculous).

Sam found

Five hours after his last text he calls me. I guess it is no surprise that he went out drinking. He never read any text messages while he was out, and he saw that I was calling but never wanted to talk to me all night long. At least, that is what he drunkenly just told me on the way home.

He is in McDonald's getting a cheeseburger. Let's hope he can make it the rest of the way home without altercation. He must pass his archenemy homeless people to get home. He likes to lecture them about not taking people's money. They do not like to be lectured by drunk, rich, white boys. He also likes to tell other drunk white people that the homeless people are not nice and to not give them money. The homeless dudes especially do not like him doing that.

No Sam

I came home a little after 10:30 to see no fiancee in the house. It is an hour later and he still is not here. He has not responded to a good ten texts and a good ten phone calls. The last I heard from him was a one word text at 9:30 when I was at my show. Well the show I am in some episodes in but not tonight, tonight I was watching the show. The show he was too feeling poorly to go and see. Not, though, feeling poorly enough that he would stay in the motherfucking house.

And such is the life of loving an alcoholic. I have no idea where he is. I have some guesses, and I could go wander the streets in search of him. However, I also know that he seems to have some homeless/junkie/begging/vagrants who he has pissed off a bit and once had to get a cop walk him past. Also some other guy who hates drunk Sam. Plus IF he is drunk (which let's face it he must be or he would be home or in contact with me), he could be in jail, hit by a car, or mugged or worse, and I would have no way of knowing.

So I sit at home. Angry and terrified because I have no idea what the fuck is going on.

Should I get ice skates--Also why have I not posted in forever?

No particular reason. I just didn't. I felt like I had nothing to muster up into a thing. Not even that much twitter wise. Also I got in trouble at work. Trouble over, hopefully for good. It was weird and ridiculous and now I am glad that it is over. On to better blogging. (PS Jim I am thinking I maybe sort of want to ChiMoWriMo, NaNoWriMo, so maybe press me to that).

In about 4 weeks the ice rinks in Chicago open up, for free! Well there are some in Chicago land that are not free, but two downtown near my office are free until March or April when it gets warm and they close them down. Skate rental is not free. But if I buy some ice skates I can go whenever I want.

It seems I can get some skates for right around $50 (which is about 6-10 trips worth of skating) but will I skate if I have them. I could keep them at work. It is a short bus trip away, but I will always be skating by myself. Well not by myself, but I have no skating buddy. I wonder if I could get sara jo to get skates with me? Or better yet, I should have Natalie or my mom look into skates from around there, used ones and get them at Thanksgiving.

I want to go skating. I want to go more. I should get them right?

Beautiful Day

Yesterday was one of those lovely just the tiniest bit crisp fall days, and Sally and I took full advantage by walking out on Northerly Island (a bird and butterfly habitat) and walking along the lake. Then I went home and fell asleep like a small child. And then I made blue box mac and cheese with bits of hot dog for dinner. After Sam's homemade mac and cheese, it was not as flavorful or cheesy as my mind remembered it.

Kitty searching

So, Sam and I have been discussing about the idea of getting a new cat for a while. Obviously we will keep the old one, but we wondered if he might be less of an asshole if he had a buddy. Although he never seemed to be very close friends with his old buddy (but that one wasn't very fun). So we were looking for some kitty with spunk, front declaw (or the permission to front declaw them), preferably female, who would love us and steve and let steve love her (or him).

We think we have found one. I am not going to say more because we have initiated a conversation with the owner/adopter/etc of this lovely little kitty lady. Depending on how that goes, we will go meet her, and then we maybe will bring her home to love her.

Blog Tweaks

I am tweaking the things.

If you would like to be on my blog roll, please email me the link info or just tell me. If you tell me, it may take about a week for me to get my shit in order and do the editing at home where all my friends blogs are favorited.

I am not sure I am a big fan of the Twitter gadget, so I may nix it. I am thinking about trying to monetize it, but I might not. I more likely will get a site for my wedding blogging and try to monetize that.

I encourage feedback on the changes.

Sweet Home Chicago

The 2016 Olympics gets a home in just a few hours. Everything around here seems to ask "We back the bid" do you?

I don't know.

I was raised in a family that is obsessed with Olympics. Some of my earliest memories revolve around watching the LA Olympics in 1984, and I got to stay up late to watch Greg Louganis in Seol in 1988. Lots of summertime was spent watching Barcelona and Atlanta in 1992 and 1996. And I corrupted my roommate with hours and hours of Sydney during Hello Dolly in 2000 (we even decorated hats in front of it). I didn't have TV during Athens in 2004, but I would head down to the Ale house to eat or drink and watch upon occasion (like shot put in Olympia!!). Sam and I both watched quite a bit of Beijing last year. That is just the summer games!

BUT, it is one thing to watch it on television. I have always hoped to attend a games, but like on vacation. Like hey lets go to London AND see some Olympics while we were on vacation and doing other vacationy things. Where we went for a few days around our event tickets and then headed out to elsewhere in the vicinity.

Hosting the Olympics in your own city is another thing. It is threeish weeks of likely Public Transportation nightmares. Right now I am walking distance to my job, will that still be true in 2016? Who knows? The tourists, officials, athletes, etc that it would bring to the city would be awesome in theory and likely a pain in my life's ass. But I think it would be good for the city, and I think we would do a good job. Of course I could maybe even get a job working for the Olympics. That would be cool.

On the other hand, if we still live in the same place downtown, we likely could rent our place out for the two weeks and take a sweet ass vacation far away and subsidized by said rental. That would be awesome too (although kind of lame to miss the Olympics in my backyard). So I am not sure I back the bid (and for totally petty selfish reasons, so sue me).

In a few hours that might be a moot point.