Tomorrow I drive to Minnesota to start four days of 'the family program' at Sam's rehab facility. I get back sometime on Monday, and then Sam comes home on Wednesday.
And all of that has me scared. I am scared of the program at rehab. Scared that it might be unbearable or preachy or that I have no idea what I will uncover or that I will be asked to do something as support to Sam that I would be unwilling or unable to do (Ok so I have no idea what I mean by that but that no idea is the problem). I am scared that the hard part is about to start because let's face it, this next part will be harder than the part I am in now.
Next week Sam comes home, and I don't know what that means. Obviously I don't think he will be magically ok and we will all be happy and light and perfection. It would be naive to think it would be that easy. Not only is it likely to be difficult for Sam to get back into his life while also staying sober, but it our relationship had suffered due to the alcoholism, and I imagine it will go through a bit of a reinvention as a result of sobriety. Now I am super hopeful that it will be an all positive reinvention that fixes some of the most troubling bits (as they were troubled directly by the alcohol abuse), but I don't think that will be easy or very much fun even if Sam and I are committed and flexible people.
These last few weeks have been like a vacation within my own life and Thursday when the class starts, my vacation comes to an end. And I am worried.
Where's Beebo?! There she is!!!
11 years ago
4 comments:
Have you read Augusten Burroughs _Dry_? It's a realistic but often very funny story of his alchoholism and how he got clean. You should check it out.
Thanks Margaret! I will look it up, and maybe download it to the kindle.
Also, Sam told me a little outline of what we are going to do while we are there. So I feel better about that.
Not sure if I will stay feeling better for 7 hours in the car.
I think you will come back to Chicago feeling relieved and maybe even excited to start things over on a better foot. I have faith in both you and Sam that you will both work very hard and that his recovery will be a success. Can't wait to see Sam! Have a safe trip my friend.
- Sara Jo
I'm sorry I didn't see this until just now. Based on the sound of your voice last night, I'm guessing the weekend has turned out much more pleasantly than you expected. I certainly hope it has, anyway.
And now you're calling. Awesome! I'd rather talk to you than write, anyway.
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