Making up for it

In dealing with what the fiancée and I went through in the past few years, I kind of feel like a jerky-ish person because part of me really really needed him to make it up to me, and as he first started to get better and better, I sort of salivated over the idea of him making amends to me.

I have calmed quite a bit down on that. That was pretty clearly an anger issue on my part and as time passed and our life became normal (or I guess not marred by the chaos it was formerly steeped in) my anger died down. It became apparent that our lives had stabilized.

And now, I feel like everyday is making up for it. In his presence in my life and not just his being in my physical space, he was that often before, but his mental and spiritual presence with me and the cat. He is around in our apartment, and he adds to it, and we talk and we laugh everyday. I feel like our regular life is always making up for it by just being happy. Yesterday he steam cleaned our carpets and made us an AMAZING from scratch dinner: marinated pork tenderloin roast, oven roasted tomatoes with garlic and balsamic vinegar, FROM SCRATCH polenta (made with chicken stock instead of water), and a spinach salad.

It is amazing what a year can do!

Stunned by the Gold Box

I have gotten into the habit of checking out what is in the Amazon Gold Box deal every few hours while at work. It is basically never anything I either want or would buy even for that price, but it is strangely curious to me.

I think it is because I am always astounded by what things fly like hotcakes. An electric wok is selling like gang busters at this moment.

Some random little still pretty expensive radio sold out the other day. Who knew people wanted those things SO MUCH that they would grab it from the gold box?

WHO KNEW?

Up and Coming

I always feel like I have many up and coming projects that succumb to the Tivo. Because I love me some tv watching. I love it. Love it. But it diminishes some other returns. I need to get a sewing machine out in the room I just need too the end.

I keep meaning to rearrange the apartment furniture but I don't think Sam will go for the big one I want.

Our main non-bedroom/kitchen/bathroom living space is a big "L" shape. The long bit of the L is carpeted and the short bit which goes into the entryway is floating wood floored.

Right now that means dining room on the wood bit (with a table, a credenza, and a bookcase) and living room/desk space/giant piano on the carpet. Obviously the piano takes up half of the carpet area, and I sneakily tucked the desk in behind it (which I am lobbying to be home of sewing machine out in the open since his giant piano gets to live in the middle of our space my stuff should too--also it is a giant pain in the ass to lug out and smash back into the closet for any project making). The other carpet half is tv and seating area.

What I WANT to do is move the piano into the short bit of the L. Make the dining room the music room if you will. Move the TV into the crook of the L and move the seating around it accordingly and put the dining area BEHIND it, so we could more easily and tidily eat/watch tv. Or really do any project and watch TV (like quilting or what have you) and desk with sewing machine would go back there too making a project area all handy and shiz. It might involve some wacky chair areas, but who cares. It would work so much better for us using more of our space at any given time.

It would however be a MAJOR, MAJOR moving of all of our stuff. All art (painting, photography EVERYTHING) would have to come off the wall and go back up somewhere else. Rewiring/plugging in/using all the many many many many things with cables that are connected to the TV would be another MAJOR chore as would getting the cable cables out from under the carpet.

So this might be a little pie in the sky. In other news I just want to swap some couches and chairs and wiggle the desk to a better tv watching while sewing behind the piano business place.

I need. . .

An ice cream

And maybe a vacation. One so awesome I would then need a vacation from said vacation.

Also maybe a pony.

Not really on the pony.

I am having a day of, shall we say, first world problems. No one should feel sorry for me.

They probably ought to kick me though.