Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Please leave feedback

Whoa, so I haven't posted in almost a week, and I have no good reason why. I journaled a little bit (on actual paper with an actual pen using *gasp* penmanship) because it was stuff that might make my blog too confessional--I know, probably too late for that, but I am trying to normal it up, or something. Nothing big, just thoughts and stuff. Nothing significant that I haven't shared with you all out in cyberspace, and I totally love that my dear Courtney has been reading this. Awesome!!

Here is the stuff to discuss and leave feedback on. I just finished James Frey's A Million Little Pieces and in it he talks about how he doesn't believe men can be friends with a woman they find attractive (i.e. would want or want to sleep with or the like) and vice versa, not because it was impossible but because it would be too much torture. Therefore only a sadist or someone seriously delusional could/would do that. What do you all think?

I think that I agree. Speaking just of myself, when I have been friends with men I wanted to be more then friends with, I could do it only when they were like married or completely taken in that kind of relationship. If their was any kind of availability with them (even if they were taken), the friendship fizzled out before it got serious because it wasn't fun enough for me to keep up--it was vaguely awful to be just a little close to them and no where near close enough. I haven't been able to stay friends with someone I dated who I still wanted after the break-up, probably because that same awfulness. Again, I open this for discussion in the comment section.

4 comments:

chrissy. said...

i don't know. i can and have, but i don't think i've had male friends that are attracted to me. but then, i am an anomaly.

Heather K said...

See, I think that some of the male friends I have (or have had) could not possibly have been attracted to me (and since I wasn't attracted to them), so that was why it worked out. But then later I hear things or I pay closer attention, and I wonder if maybe they were my friend in part because of the torch they were carrying (even if it was a teeny tiny pen light and not a million candle bulb). Or something. Discuss some more.

Anonymous said...

ehhhh. i think the friendship can be sustained...as long as there's more to that relationship than just some sexual tension or whatever. depends on the foundation and the history and a whole heck of a lot of different factors i think. i can say that i've been in instances of both...received and given. so...yeah. that's that!

Jim said...

I don't believe James Frey can be friends with a woman he finds attractive. The rest of us I think it varies. Some can, some can't, some are in the middle.

I have had and do have female friends that I find attractive. Am I attracted to them? Not beyond friendship. But that doesn't mean I don't notice if they are pretty or whatever. At the same time, I am friends with my wife, whom I find attractive, but I guess that's a different thing.

I have had female friends, too, that I was attracted to, so it impacted the friendship. Didn't ruin it, just meant that I thought about something more at the same time.

It's late. I'm tired and rambling.