That has been me lately. I have just had the blues. You know?
I would say I am a generally laughy giggly person, and I had a great week last week, but sometime this weekend a fog rolled in. And it has stayed. I had to work over the weekend, maybe that was crappier than I thought. I had a minor fight with Sam this weekend, but I feel it was a fight because I am in a funk and was spoiling for something, plus we resolved what it was about.
It is an especially thick funk fog because yesterday I could feel happy fun people at rehearsal doing and saying things that generally get me out of things like this, and I could feel this part of me really wanting to break out of my cloud and join them. It wanted to laugh and smile and sing along loudly with the song on my ipod while I was walking, but the rest of me just clawed to it and wouldn't let it.
And the self-critic is out in full force, chastising specific behaviors and instances I cannot go back in time days, weeks, and months to fix. And really, really harping on them and their specifics and making it easy to stay and dwell in this fog and I don't want to. I want to lighten up, and for unexplicable reasons that is not happening. Tonight I will go home and watch some Sports Night or West Wing, they usually make me happy or maybe I can convince Sam that we should go somewhere new and exciting. I don't know where that would be, but maybe breaking out of the routine will help me break out of this fog as well.
2 comments:
Are you taking care of yourself? Getting enough sleep, food, exercise, that kind of thing? That's usually my issue when I get like that. Either that or I've got something to fix/change/resolve, something I don't like that I'm refusing to deal with.
Those are my two funk triggers. Well, those and exhaustion. (Which ties in with the first set of triggers I mentioned. You've been doing a LOT lately. Maybe you just need some downtime?)
It is most definitely a lack of excercise and possibly sleep. I think I am ok on the food thing.
Although apparently (a friend of mine said) the moon is weighing heavily on my sign which is already inclined to sensitivity, so it could be that. You know. That is of course the answer.
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