Boyfriends worry

So, since I will be flying in so late on Sunday, I will miss the last orange line train.  My boyfriend's response, "Good!" because he doesn't trust the train that late at night.  He NEVER takes it at night.  ihave taken it at night several times.  It has been fine, but he worries, so I will be cabbing it on Monday.  You know assuming this giant thunderstorm does not derail my plans tonight.

Going to California

I have a family reunion this weekend, and because my family all loves eachother and enjoy the company of themselves, I am totally excited about it. Tomorrow night I leave work, catch the train to the airport, and get on a plane. Then I have Friday with morning of Sacramento zoo, afternoon reunion, Saturday all day reunion, Sunday morning church and then reunion until I get back on a plane Sunday evening.

Then I land here probably just late enough to miss the last orange line train into the city because God likes to screw with me. This means a cab ride, either to Sam's or to my house. I guess it just depends. Anyway, I may not be super blogger until Monday when I am taking the day off work to sleep and catch up with sleep.

The Inapprpriate post: Begging Homeless People and Shoes

I encountered a few pet peeves this morning on my way to work.  One of them is inappropriately hostile beggars (they may have homes or be homeless I guess I really do not know).  Here in Chicago, the street people who ask for money are kind of hostile and forward.  They will heckle you as you walk past them, call you names if you don't give them money or the food you are carrying, and they yell at you to give them the money in the first place.  Now I know things are rough for a lot of people, but I am not one of those people who is rolling in the dough.  I am trying to get myself fiscally responsible, but it is a project for me as yet.  If I lost my job, it could be really bad really fast.  So I get that desperate times call for desperate measures, but I don't get how they think yelling at people is a good strategy to get those same people to give them money.  Also, on the same front, shaming them with yelling when they don't pay out seems not the best strategy to get them to pay you or any other street person.  Now, the street performers don't seem to do this.  It seems only to be the purview of the more homeless looking beggars.  But I just don't like it.  I don't like getting screamed at on the street because (as happened this morning) I did not buy a scary homeless person breakfast.  I didn't buy myself breakfast either.  I had it at work, as I have been lately because I have been broke since the middle of last week to payday on Friday which means I eat what is already at my house and I eat food at Sam's house and with Sam, and I usually take his leftovers for lunch.  In fact, if it weren't for him my situation would be way more dire this week, doable, but would involve ramen as my primary meal and cereal from the breakfast stores at work for both lunch and breakfast.  But anyway, not buying anyone breakfast at all not me, not homeless crazy person, and please do not yell at me about it.  Not cool.  Just not cool.

 

I also encountered inappropriate shoes.  Now, I encounter them everyday on office people who are obviously wearing non-office shoes with their office clothes on the way to work because they want to save their feet on the walking portion of their day or because summer in Chicago is freaking hot and sandals may just need to happen.  That is totally fine.  That is not the choice to go with their outfit, that is the choice to get through high powered blocks worth of fast walking and not all heels meet those specifications and not all outfits should have flats as an alternative, so fine wear the tennies or the flip flops to get to work and pull the sassy slingbacks out of your bag or your bottom desk drawer or wherever, and rock the whole look in the office and out at lunch and maybe even after work at dinner or drinks, that's totally cool with me.  All that I ask, is that when you put together a whole fancy outfit consider please your shoes.  Even with a non-fancy outfit consider the shoes.  Just think about things like your pant length (or skirt length) and think about the colors and the whole look as you consider what shoes to wear.  Not just any shoe will do, it can wreck the whole look or make the whole look.  I am not a person who advocates always match the bag to the shoes and always wear heels or anything like that.  I can and do get behind the funky and the dramatic, but even then it needs to work and not look merely like you were stuck playing dress up in a costume box and just threw any old thing on.  Bright silver Mary Janes cannot go with everything.  I know this because I have some.  They are really light and therefore almost have to be treated as white shoes and they are inherently dressy because the sparkle.  That doesn't mean you can't pair them with something casual, that just means you must make sure that the look can handle a little upgrade.  So, chiquita banana outside the Hilton on Delaware wife beater tank, and ripstop cargo pants (even in nice pretty white) is maybe not ready for slightly heeled silver mary jane's.  Maybe not quite what you are going for there.

Weekend!

Boy did I ever have one!  Friday night Chris and I went to see one of the NEA 4 perform a performance art/theatre piece about the state of being gay, gay marriage, and immigration right for the partners of gay Americans.  That makes it sound boring, but really it was not at all boring and totally awesome!  It was so great, and I am glad Chris and I went. 

 

Saturday, I went apartment hunting (yeah found several apartments that would NOT be OK and starting to lean towards moving way North for a year (to save money) and because I have to be up there near the Ville a few times a week anyway.  Still hunting.  Then I hung out with Chris all afternoon before meeting Sam and his parents for dinner (Sam's birthday dinner--early for the parents).  At like 9pm, Sam and I headed out to a birthday party thrown by my old boss which was great fun and involved seeing lots of bosses new and old pretty drunk.  It was awesome, but Sam and I are old, so we went home and were in bed after only two hours.

 

Sunday, Sam made spaghetti for lunch, and then I went to the spa at the 4 Seasons.  First of all, that hotel is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice.  I mean, wow.  I kind of felt like it was so nice someone was going to shoo me out for not following a dress code or not being frou-frou enough to be there.  Like they were going to figure out I was some sort of proletariet intruder.  But, I was led into the spa and had my own locker and fluffy robe and slippers.  I used the sauna which was not much fun, so I tried the steam room (which was fun) because they said you should do that before your massage.  I also used the big fancy medical scale which confirmed that I have in fact gained quite a bit of weight, so much weight in fact that I am either tied for or actually am the heaviest I have ever been ever in my life.  I have decided that stops now.  So, snacking done.  Excercise,let's do it.  I am going to make Sam let me use his excercise room when it is cold because turning 30 next summer I am not being this.  My goal for that is 15 pounds to lose which will put me down into perfectly fine territory and not even the skinniest that I have ever been, still a bit of weight from that.

 

Anyway, then there was the massage which was awesome.  I want one everyday.  Actually one in the morning and one before bed.  Can that be arranged?  I need a winning lotto ticket.  These were great.  Then there was the facial.  I think I have a new face.  Although I was scared the aethetician would tsk at me, she actually approved of my skin care regimine and just thought I should exfoliate more regularly.  No extractions in the facial, just mist and a masque and a new face.  Then there was more relaxation room, where I had strawberries and ginger tea and curled up with a magazine in between treatments.  Then I had the most delightful woman do my mani and pedi.  She was great.  Funny and interesting with great stories.  Her name was Chang and she is from the Phillipines, and I want to go back just to hang out with her.  Then I went back to the bathroom/locker room and took a shower and headed back to Sam's.  Four hours after I had started, I headed back.  It was great.  Best birthday present EVER!

 

Then that night, well after I woke him up from his cat nap on the couch--he told me too, I wasn't to let him sleep too long--Sam made me Thai food, a green curry chicken and noodles.  It was marevlous.  And I have leftovers like crazy for the week for lunch.  And I have only a four day week this week and next week because I will be off to California!

 

 

 

 

My thoughts on stuff

The people you meet when you are in a liquor store at 8am is kind of interesting.  Several of them seem to be homeless junkies/alcoholics.  There is the lady who buys lots and lots of lotto tickets, and the handful of office alcoholics who are buying something small and covert to doctor up their coffee.  Sometimes the homeless man will sing, songs with no real lyrics just a series of sounds, they tend to be sort of blues inspired.  Sometimes they are mournful and other times they get kind of peppy.  It seems to depend on the weather.

 

Now, why, you may ask, would I know what the heck is happening in a liquor store at 8 am?  Valid question.  It turns out the liqour store on the main floor of my work building has the cheapest ice cold pop around.  At 7-11 it is $1.07 for a can of pop and like $1.75 (after tax) for a 20 oz.  Even the fountain pop is a lot.  The CVS and the Walgreens don't have better prices (or only slightly better prices) for the 20oz and no single can options, and their drinks are only coolish, not ice cold.  At McDonald's you can get a large drink for $1 + tax which is nice, but way, way, way more soda than I should allow myself to drink, and the lines are always epic!  However, at the liqour store a can of ice cold diet coke is 63 cents!  Awesome.  I feel like I have been transported to my childhood with prices like that.  Plus it is exactly the summer caffeination that I look for to start my morning.  So yeah, I hit the liquor store at 8am.

So much stuff

It seems like I am getting lots of sad news from friends lately.  I have had several friends going through particularly rough experiences of several different varieties lately.  Normally (or maybe just earlier) I would've written about these here in the blog, but none of this stuff is my story and in fact it only affects me because I don't like to see people I love having to have hard times.  I didn't really think it is or was my place to talk about it, but it also has been a rather large thing in my life lately, so I am going to write about it very obliquely like this.  I just love them and think about them a lot and want to do anything I can to help them, if there is anything else I can do besides love them.  And that is the end of what I speak about that.

 

This also got me to reflecting about the big changes in my life over the last year.  I have a whole new day job.  I no longer have a night job (the night job that has been a part of my life since I moved to Chicago).  I am in a play that has essentially an open (if weird) sort of run with writers who write for me.  I have a kitteh.  I have about 15 to 20 more pounds of me (things I am working to remedy).  I have free time and sleep.  And most importantly, I have Sam who is just wonderful, and I am so, so SOOOOOOO lucky to know him much less have in my life in the way that he is.  Altough, if last summer you told me that this would happen I would'v laughed in your face.  Because at this time last summer I was totally consumed with phone boyfriend, and I was pretty convinced he was going to move to Chicago as soon as his being a cop in Oregon thing fell through.  It turns out, that I am now really, really glad he never moved here--something that would've stunned me at this time last year.

 

Big year passed, big year coming up.

Long day

Lots of work, lots of stuff, lots of late talk with Chris. I think I am going to see if Renee wants to extend our stay here as roommates. It is probably my best option, and I think we will be better this year.

Also my cat wants me to smack him. He is just barely touching me with his wet nose, and it tickles, and I am really sure that he knows it bugs me.

Plus, nest news ever! Sam is feeling better, so much better. He feels relaxed and happier than he has in months. He is remembering what it feels like to relax. I am so relieved.

Hopeslessly un-smooth--or would that make me rough?

Actually my BF is pretty un-smooth too. His parents were in town last night because his mom is spending this next week at the International Calligraphy Convention in the burbs (probably not its real name) and his dad is spending it on Sam's couch. His dad is also going to get some fancy academic research done in the University of Chicago library. But last night we all went to dinner. I think Sam's medicine was giving him nasty side effects, so he really just wanted to go home and lie down, so when dinner actually got over, he was very relieved.

As we loaded up into his parents' car, he very quickly burst out with the suggestion that he was very tired and would fall asleep right after he takes his last pill for the day so we better just take Heather home, right now. This kind of made my head turn because I was thinking well sure ditch me because I am stupid enough to let your parents know that I basically spend 5 nights a week at your house. Anyway, I had them take me home because it was late-ish and rainy and why not get a ride.

Once I got home Sam sent me an IM saying, "I knew my parents were going to stay late at my apartment cooking for my mom's thing so it wouldn't work for you to stay here." At which point I said oh good because I kind of thought the way he went about it was mean and a little rude. So smooth my bf, so smooth. . .

News Event of the Morning

My cat Steve McQueen, although a little bit evil, is also very, very smart.  He has figured out how to pee in the toilet.  That is right.  He has potty trained himself, I guess from modeling our behaviors.  Either that or he thinks we drink from there and is trying to poison us.

 

I would not in hell have believed it was true, if I had not seen it myself this morning.  I went to go use the bathroom, like you do when you wake up, and there was my cat, sitting on the toilet looking cranky and morning grumpy like a person.  Also giving me a look, like, "I don't watch you when you do this?"  Although that is a lie, both our cats totally watch.  You go to the bathroom, and they burst in to curl around your feet or sit on the sink and stare at you--which apparently was some sort of teaching session.  Totally weird.  Kind of awesome.

Olympic Fever

I am starting to catch it.  In less than a month I will be setting up camp in front of Sam's tv, with my laptop open to the wide world of internet coverage.  It should be awesome, but in the run up something has caught my mind.

 

Is there any possible way that Dara Torres isn't using some performance enhancing drugs?  I feel like she has to be.  I even feel her belated diagnosis with asthma was a way to get to take drugs that enhance lung capacity.  It just defies reason and nature that after 5 years being retired and having a baby that she would come back in a few short years and swim way the heck faster at 40 than she did half a lifetime ago at 20.  I am not saying people at 40 can't be athletic, can't be competitive because I absolutely think they can.  They have, lots of them!  I am saying the miraculous improvement that she has shown seems too miraculous to be unaided.  It just smells sketchy, totally sketchy.

 

 

Not an ulcer

Sam doesn't have one, which is good.  He however may have some sort of anxiety condition that is making his stomach feel awful and screwing with his blood pressure which probably isn't wonderful to start.  So, he and his doctor (a new one who he likes because she talks to him) are pursuing some options that should make him less irrationally nervous.  Although, all of his explaining this to me, made me very, very anxious.  Maybe I am inheriting it?

Things make me irrationally nervous sometimes

Usually not the big things.  I am strangely adept at just ignoring or fabricating an elaborate explanation as to why that guy never called or why something I really, really want to work out really, really isn't.  Once (actually in the pages of this blog a few years ago), I managed to convince myself that just because my boyfriend was sleeping on the couch, avoiding me, and ignoring my phone calls didn't mean something was wrong with our relationship clearly it was far more obvious that he "liked" the couch, was really busy that week even if it was exactly the same as all other weeks, and well, his phone clearly was spontaneously getting bad reception, etc.  Big things no problem.  I studied at the Donna Kinion school of if I don't want it to exist it just won't.  She has denied the existence of my tatoo after seeing and touching it (eventually we got her over that, she might even like it now).

 

Small things can make me just crazy.  These small things I usually make up.  Like on random event will balloon in size in my mind until it is the hugest most enormous harbinger of impending doom.  Clearly most of the world's woes are caused by my forgetting to brush my teeth in the morning or misfiling a file or because I said something flippant that may have been much more hurtful than funny.  Today, I have been slowly torturing myself.  Well not all day, just this afternoon.  Later there will be snuggling with the boy.  That will make things better.

 

Adorable

I wanted to include a story of how adorable my boyfriend can be. He has been sick all weekend because he made some poor choices last week (poor choice = lots of alcohol, clubs, cubs games, etc. in the name of entertaining clients/vendors so he had to do it) and he really needs to go back to his doctor for a check up on the maybe ulcer. Also I don't think the meds the doc put him on last time are exactly what he needs. They do okay at making him feel better sometimes, and that seems like not enough for prescription medicine since he felt better sometimes anyway by accident. Anyway so sick all weekend and really screwed up his sleep cycle (3am at Weiner Circle with clients probably did not help), so he was falling asleep on the couch tonight at 8:30. At which point, I made him get off the couch and go to sleep in his bed, and he started to argue with me in the same manner as a sleepy toddler would if in the same situation. He could not go to bed without seeing the end of the show (which was Extreme Makeover Home Edition, so clearly if he didn't see the end, how would he survive), but fortunately TIVO saved him.

But the look on his face, so tired and so sort of vaguely embarrassed to be so tired at that moment. And then so relieved that I was Tivo'ing it so that he could go to bed. He is adorable.

Fighting is not so much fun

Over the last two weeks Sam and I have argued or fought several times (well really with us a fight is most other people's arguments which would shock people who knew me back when my temper was legendary). It has sometimes been very sucky, especially if it involved crying (which it only did one time). However, in the end (and I actually think we have reached the end of this stint of arguing in a big serious sort of way), I think it accomplished quite a bit of good. Like we were at a point in our relationship where something needed to help us get closer or things might have stalled or stagnated, and all this arguing was it. Really I think it was a manifestation of unspoken wants and needs that the other was to psychically know (because clearly that is always a good choice) just working themselves out into the open, and this was how they wanted to roll.

So, we are all happy and had big make-ups and resolutions and learned a lot about each other and really hadn't fought that badly or big-ly in the first place. It just was not my favorite time and I would prefer to not ever have a repeat of that.

Weekend of Fun

Tonight dueling piano bar with coworkers, boyfriend, and friends.  Should be a grand old time.  Or actually even more fun than that sounds because that sounds not so much fun.  Tomorrow after a quick shopping errand, there is the Dolly Parton Film Festival which may just end up being Chris, Anna, and I watching Dolly Parton movies on their couch (and probably Renee too).  That's right Steel Magnolias, 9 to 5, Straight Talk, and Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.  Oh yeah.  I need to bring a themed snack, but I am still not sure what that will be. . .

 

Then sewing project to be completed on Sunday.  I bought an eyelet maker plier.  Which essentially just clicks eyelets (baby grommets) onto fabric.  I am totally stoked to get to use it on the project.

My boyfriend has been having a rough time of it at work

I am not sure why either because either a) he doesn't really go into it or b) when he does go into it there is a certain amount of text speak I do not understand and could not even repeat, so I just nod and say, "I am sorry baby," in a sweet and loving voice.

 

His company has sort of ballooned up the last couple of years, and he went from being the guy in his division (as in the only one) to the guy in charge of his division by way of here have a helper and hey you should hire another to where he is now.  But he doesn't do well at delegating.  He is far more likely to just solve a problem when confronted with it rather then take the time to pass it along to the person who ought to be doing it, as long as it is a pretty easy fix.  Although since he made up half the stuff they do at his work it is much easier for him to see the fixes than anyone else, so almost everything is something he does.  Now, he has been given the go ahead to hire a new person or two (and I think he did just hire someone), but he hates training people and he doesn't like looking for people because it never seems to go his way.  So he tends not to do it in advance of the need, he will only get to it when the need is so great his ability to function as a human being is getting strained. 

 

That is where he is about now.  Plus because his department is backlogged, the people who need there work tend to get hysterical at them.  Although I guess some of them avoid doing things in advance as is the prescribed way of going about things.  Anyway somehow there is a system where crankiness tends to get rewarded which encourages people to be cranky if not to him than to his underlings which he hears about.  On the other hand apparently his underlings aren't ones to take crankiness lying down, so then he hears about that too.

 

Oh yeah, and did I mention that he is kind of maybe getting an ulcer?  Well maybe not.  It may be something else, but it is likely that his health problem of late has been worsened by stress if not entirely caused by it.  Poor guy.

 

Although, several people have been hired at his job to a) do some of the work he does and b) play enforcer to some of his decisions, so once those types get all trained up and functioning I predict at least a period of more happy times with him.

 

I hope.  He deserves it.

You say you want a resolution?

I have been thinking lately that I may try to make amends with my roomie.  At some point this winter we were at quite a dismal point.  She was unhappy, I was happy, somehow this became very bad for me and very bad for the cats, especially Steve McQueen.  At which point I just spent more time at works and more free time with Sam.  I just couldn't participate in her sadness and I couldn't participate in her taking it out on me.  Eventually, she stopped taking it out on the cats (mostly).  Lately, she seems in a much better place and our house is usually cleaner and usually does not smell of trash and cat litter like it used to, so I am hoping she is coming out of the very sad tunnel that she had been in.

 

So I think I should try to pick back up the thread of our friendship.  Which as I write this makes me sound like such an arrogant fairweather friend--which I have been accused of being before, so there you go.  But I think I may have been able to be more supportive if I had not also been her roomie during the dark times.  There are only so many nice thoughts you can think about someone who leaves bags of garbage in front of your bedroom door (true it is very near the garbage can, but six bags of garbage in essentially a single person home? including used cat litter?!).  There is only so much you can feel for their sad time when it makes your house smell so bad your gag reflex kicks in upon entering and has not managed to do any dishes for over a month, except for a spoon or fork at a time as she needs them to feed herself.  But that seems mostly passed now. 

 

I want to bring some fun into her life.  I want my friend back, and I think she does too.  So I might try to broach the subject tonight as I am home and working on a big sewing project.  Maybe.  We shall see.  I will certainly at the very least be fri

I Cheezburgered My Cat

moar funny pictures


moar funny pictures

Belated Birthday Surprise

My mother asked to talk to Sam when she called me a week and a few days ago to wish me happy birthday (she had to do it early because she was going to be flying to Orlando that day and didn't know if she would catch me). Sam would not tell me what she said to him AT ALL. It was infuriating.

Well, today I discovered what it was they spoke of. My mother told him that he should make some chocolate éclairs for my birthday (because they are my favorites). Today, he did make me them. And he kept it from me until I accidentally discovered them chilling in the refrigerator.

Yeah, sweetest boyfriend ever!

So I took a blogging break

Because it turns out I still managed to stay busy even though I work one less job. There were nights out with friends and drinking, and drinking, and I am not sure I remember everything that happened, but that may be because of the drinking.

I spent Independence Day with a group of a about 12 people, more than half of whom are citizens of nations other than our own (China and India), some 1st generation Americans, and like 3 of us with long time American families, so there were some Chinese dumplings to supplement the kabobs on the grill. But it was a very nice time

Then Sam coerced some people to go to Howl at the Moon with him, and he had such an excellent time that he was suckered into buying not only two rounds of shots (one jello, one test tube), but also a rose for me. Which I found hilarious and adorable. Because the rose chick makes the rounds after everyone is pretty wasted and suckers drunk guys to by a single rose for drunk girls--a single rose that costs an arm and a leg for a sad, sad, sad specimen of a rose. Sam usually fends these types off pretty deftly, but last night, the rose chick was too much for him, and he bought me a rose.

Speaking of Sam, earlier in the week we kind of a had a pretty big fight (well for us , for other people it might have just been a mild disagreement, but Sam doesn't argue or fight as a general rule, so for us a big fight) which I suppose is what comes of him being way more drunk than I was and not catching on that the joke he was making was not a joke I found remotely funny until it was a little too late. But we are fine now. Although, that may perhaps explain the rose too.

Right now he is in the kitchen making fajitas, guacamole (he puts a hard boiled egg in his) that might be too spicy to eat, and some sort of strawberry truffle thing he saw on tv yesterday. And he insisted that he needed no help. I love these days. So I am making sure his couch does not make an escape from his house, and I think I will watch some Netflix on demand, I think I feel like some documentaries. . .

I hope everyone had a very nice 4th of July!