Thursday, March 15, 2007

Building my willpower

Last night my roommate Janna and I watched a TLC show about seriously, horrifyingly overweight people--people who weigh more then five and six hundred pounds, including one man who weighed MORE then 1,000 pounds. These people cosumed upwards of 15,000 claories a day--one man eating 36,000 calories in an average day. Mostly they get this from eating crap, and then it occurred to me: I eat crap! I do. I have a raging sweet tooth and devour ice cream and jelly beans and dark chocolate M&M's (especially dark chocolate M&M's). I keep a stash of candy in my desk, and I eat it steadily all day.

Now I recognize that it is a leap from some candy in my desk with limited portions of breakfast, lunch, and dinner (not diet portions but just a normal amount to make me feel statisfied and not stuffed). I am not fluttering on the verge of weighing 180 pounds much less four hundred pounds, but I did find it disturbing that I shared with these people an inability to say no to the things that I like when they are readily available or in front of me. Since I have candy in my desk, I am going to eat it, and I am going to eat it because it is there, not because I crave it, just because I like it and it is there.

So today, instead of just not eating candy or taking it out of my desk. I am going to test and build my willpower by putting a cap on the amount of candy I allow myself. Right now I have two coconut creme filled hershey's kisses sitting on my desk. They have been there for an hour and a half, and I have not eaten them. One of them is for the eleven o'clock hour and the other is for the twele o'clock hour. From nine until ten, it was really hard to see them and not eat them. Really hard. I wanted them, and the greedy, small child in me had to have her hand smacked by the reasonable grown-up in me in order to not gobble them up by 9:15 or 9:30 or 9:35, etc.

However, as I passed the ten o'clock mark, I gained a feeling of accomplishment and staisfaction. I am in charge of my sweet tooth. I can indulge in it without being ruled by it, even if I have been ruled by it pretty fiercely this winter (with some snugger pants to show for it). I am still going to eat my candy, but I am going to be better about the concept of moderation. I will moderately enjoy my favorite sweets. I enter on this plan, here, now, today.

6 comments:

-al said...

good luck with the sweet tooth issue.

those people amaze me too. the seriously overweight people. it just amazes me that anyone can consume that much.
but then i hear the horror stories from my mom working in the cancer registry of people smoke 3-4 packs of cigarettes a day, or drinking two or three fifths of hard liquour in a day.
i used to smoke a pack and a half a day, and the prospect of doubling that is just crazy. and i've put down more than my fair share of booze, too, and i couldn't imagine being conscious or long enough to drink so much.
and then i realize that they're just depressed or missing something, and they're filling it with things that are harmful to them.
it's all about the moderation.

Robyn said...

I noticed that in the afternoon I crave something sweet, and that at work I kept buying a snickers. So, I started getting slim f@st bars from the store to bring to work- less money and less calories and satisfying my sweet tooth. Even at a restaurant, and I eat until I'm full and don't finish the dinner- I want dessert- Joe is amazed, but I tell him I have a special pouch in my stomach reserved just for dessert- it doesn't count when I say I'm full.

Jim said...

I can just see you, sitting at your natural wood desk in the well-lit, white room, staring down two specific candies on you desk. Both wrapped in purple foil. Hi-larious.

I applaud your desire for control, but I implore you: don't deny yourself the things you enjoy to the point of dissatisfaction.

Heather K said...

Oh I have no intention of serious denial-just reigning in the monster that is my sweet tooth.

I also keep a water bottle at my desk because my friend Sally once told me that often when your body tells you it wants sweet it is really craving water. So I always take a big long swig of water and wait a bit before I have my candy. You should try that Robyn.

Jim said...

Does that work, Heather?

Heather K said...

I found that it works a lot. At least, that or I forget that I wanted candy. Sometimes I still want candy, but probably that was a true candy craving.