Unspecial Janna

We took the abilities quiz on line, and I am Radioactiveman, Renee is the cheerleader (haha, Renee as a blonde cheerleader), and Janna hasn't quite evolved into supernatural powers. She took it twice.

Heroes the show was kind of awesome! Renee and Janna screamed a lot about Peter and Nikki hooking up. They did not approve. It was hilarious. I was very freaked out by the "President" as were we all. There was screaming at that revelation. "He's f'ing *****" was a direct quote (and I blocked so as not to be a spoiler for people who read this and may not have watched the show yet). I am excited to see what they do to fix the future.

Also, what they hell are they going to do for next season, or will this show just become kind of X-men?

On the cover

Today as I was walking to Pier 1 for work, I saw a picture of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes-Cruise on the cover of some tabloid-y-type magazine. It was proclaiming their imminent break-up (because that is what they do), and I thought, well yeah, Tom Cruise is probably a serious whack job, and I do think it is weird that Katie Holmes married him and had his baby, but isn't it possible that the look of utter irritation on each of their faces is directed at the paparazzi swarming them while they are in their car and not at each other?

Now, I would find the Cruise annoying probably mere moments after meeting him, but if she married him we can all hope that that isn't true. However being stalked by hoardes of paparazzi would definitely be annoying, and as Katie-Tom is a big get, they probably have some of the most stalkers. How many of those annoyed pictures are not of an unhappy with each other couple but of unhappy with annoying stalker/cameramen people? What don't we see on the other side of the lens and just outside the edges of the picture? How many other possible explanations are there for what we see?

Satisfaction

I find it amazingly satisfying to cram as much music as possible onto my little bitty nano. Well, not just music, but podcasts and whatnot. Two episodes of day to day (an NPR podcast), the most recent gray's anatomy podcast, and about 500 songs. That is what fits leaving exactly 1.1 of the little bits you can put onto it. I rule. Especially since mine is only a 2gig anyway.

Clean smelling city

After I went to work and work part two, I walked home to a city that had a fresh smell and a clean glow. Three days of rain had washed away some of the city grimness that can cling to thins when the sun isn't out (and even when it is). I like the city after rain--it feels reborn, and then I feel reborn, like anything is possible, and I have only to act and who knows what the possibilities will be.

I actually accomplished something tonight. I sewed up some tears in my light winter jackets, and I thought about cleaning up my room. But I did nothing on the room cleaning front. It was just too hard to bear thinking about. This weekend will be crazy too. I want to wake up and run tomorrow. Then I have a shift at Pier one, then dinner with Holly and then Em's play. And then I work what is almost guaranteed to be a whole shift at Pier One, followed by some more running. But John comes back and brings Chris with him next week, and I get some real time off.

I am planning a co-ed wedding shower for a few weeks from now. The guests will be a bunch of rowdy UI theatre folks almost exclusively, so does anyone at all out there have ideas on fun themes or games or really anything to do? I have some ideas, but I am fishing to help me get serious on the planning end. Plus I am calling my sister, the wedding planner.

Blech

It has been gray, drizzly, and rainy here, and it just kind of sucks the life out of me. Although this weekend I am going to go see my friend Emily (yes, once Gann) in a play, so that should be fun. And next week John is back and Chris Plummer is coming with him.

Thanks to Lauren

Okay, so everyone should go here and watch the clip and read this post and the next one. For all of you who read this who are artists or fans of art in anyway, I imagine it will hurt your heart as much as it hurt mine. But for all of that, it is also inspiring, especially the artist's reaction to the event in the aftermath.

I was going to write more today, but after watching that I am now just stunned. (Although there is always room to Heroes talk in the comments.)

Pretty on the street

Today at the bus stop on the way home, total strangers told me, "You're really pretty!" They were some late teenage girls and their boyfriends (?) in a car stopped at the light where the bus stop is, and they think I am pretty. It was a little strange, and very flattering (especially since it was t-shirt, jeans, and hardly any make-up day at work--although it was get bored while watching a movie and give yourself pin curls night the night before, so my hair was stellar). But it was a nice little cap on the day.

Other then that, nothing much interesting. I need to make myself bigger lunches for work though. I get way too hungry.

Beautiful Weather

That is what we have here in Chicago. It is literally hot when I walk to and from work, and I have had no need of a coat or even a sweatshirt. It is however also windy, in a dirty and a little bit gritty sort of way.

My flex shift was canceled today, so I went to work for a five hour shift, had some Chipotle and came home. Now I am blogging, recharging my ipod, listening to the latest Grey's Anatomy podcast, and thinking about the shit I should be getting done. Later today I plan to run a little (the cold weather has nixed that for the last few weeks), get some stuff at the local drug store, finish some blockbuster movies (so I can get another), pay some bills, and call it good. Oh and shower (that goes with the running).

I wish I had more interesting things to talk about. Well, I have other things to talk about, but I don't want to put them out in the blogoshpere since really all it is is whining. I don't really want to be whiny, even though it seems almost always to be inevitable. Whining happens, especially when you can't do too much about what you would like to fix, and I am stopping now before I get really going at the whining.

OOOOooooohhh, new Heroes tomorrow (for the first time in nineteen freaking years or something), and my house is a little worried about the Peter Petrelli "death" because I live with two very big, very committed, very passionate Milo Ventimiglia fans, and his impending 'possible' doom is kind of worrying them. However, I bet he can fix himself with his Claire powers. That is my prediction for this week. (Also the name Ventimiglia always makes me think of the 'venticelli' slow news day episode from Sports Night where they talk about the little winds that bring good news).

It has been a busy week.

A very, very busy week. Although I am not sure what I actually did. I worked, I lived, I got mocked at work by April and Renee. You know, the usual. I also had an awesome sandwich at work on Friday. It was fresh mozzarella cheese, marinated artichoke hearts, lettuce, and tomatoes on big crusty Italian bread, and it was awesome! Who knew, artichoke hearts could be a sandwich all on their own?

Busy working all weekend this one. Probably next one too, but then I take a bunch off in a row for a wedding shower, a trip to Pennsylvania, a trip to St. Louis (for Ken's wedding), and it will all be tons of fun--even if not so much with the tons of sleep.

I don't have curly hair

Apparently. I was on a website called curlygirls.com because, well, it has great advice on product and salons and all sorts of stuff for curly-headed types--it gave me this awesome recipe for a scalp exfoliant involving your usual conditioner and brown sugar. It also has a typing/descriptions system for what kind of curly hair you have (actually it types straight hair too, but it only has one type, 1). There is wavy hair (types 2 a, b, and c) and curly hair (also types 3 a, b, and c)and a fourth type of hair that I don't remember much about (mostly it seemed to be actual afro hair).

Anyway, it turns out that I have wavy hair; I am a 2B. That means my hair is wavy and medium to coarse textured--like Sandra Oh. Yeah, my hair is not curly. I guess (although I think some sections of my hair are actually type 3B--essentially curly, medium to coarse textured hair). This means that my hair does not truly coil. It is an s-curve (loosely) and it can lie flat against my head. Truly curly hair stands up, and my hair does not stand up from my scalp--even when it is short.

It weirds me out. I mean, I always thought I was naturally curly, but it looks like I am not. But, it actually means my hair is more manageable then people who really have naturally curly hair. Who knew? Wavy head.


Also, totally different story. WHAT THE FUCK??!! About Vtech. Oh my God. I am watching a Dateline episode about it, and it is so stunning. I can't believe it, and I can't believe that I didn't hear about it until I got home from work. Wow. My heart breaks for those students, teachers, and their families.

Love and Life

I read a review of a book the other day--a book I have heard of or come across many times in the last few weeks--and it got me thinking about sex and love. The book is called Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both by Laura Sessions Stepp, and the reviews describe it as a screed against the hook-up culture and the damage purely sexual relationships have on the psyche of American young women (getting quite a bit of flack for using data only from 9 young women she interviewed). I haven't read this book, and I don't imagine I will, but it got me thinking.

Sex gets blamed for a whole lot of wrong in our culture. I am not saying sex doesn't have its share of pitfalls but so does ice cream (if you want to get real picky) and we let little kids eat that. But I feel that a lot of the blame that gets heaped on sex, is really more about lying. People lie to eachother--about their feelings, their experience, their past, and even their present (because no one I know has ever told anyone that it felt better then it did)--and they lie to themselves. Oh lordy do they (really we) lie to themselves! They build a sexual experience up in their mind to be the gateway to something else, and it can be, but isn't a one-night-stand more likely then not to be something else? Isn't that how it got its name? So, let's not blame that let down on the sex.

Blame it on the person who convinced themselves sex would automatically lead to something more emotional, something more attached. Let's blame this let down on Hallmark cards, Valentine's Day, and the buttoned-up society we grew up in. This mother culture tells us that sex is special and only for the one you love, but, as many people I know have experienced, the corollary isn't also true. Having sex with someone doesn't magically make them into someone you love who (more importantly) loves you back--except when you have sex in the hot tub of love in Sims2, a couple rounds there=true love, but let's not start to get into all the ways why the Sims2 and real life are not the same--also it is the hot tub of LOVE.

Sex is a physical experience, love is an emotional one. Yes, it can be very, very nice when the two join forces like all those little kids with their magic rings on Captain Planet, but let's not kid ourselves into thinking that the two are mutually exclusive--the kids all had separate live on Captain Planet too, they could only do their magic as a team, but they could still live without each other. Sex doesn't need love, and there are many, many kinds of love that require no sex (lets just start with filial, paternal, and maternal love for now, because seriously, seriously!). I can say from first hand experience, that you can have good sex with someone you don't even like, forget about love, and I love many people who I will never have sex with (not to mention a few pets).

Sex is about the quick, chemical spark between two sets of hormones. Love and commitment are as much about friendship, admiration, respect, agreement, promise, willpower, and trust. The best marriages (legal and otherwise) that I have ever known are between two people who have agreed to tread the same path together no matter what it takes. It helps that they are both a little ga-ga over each other, but the main point is that they share an emotional connection and bond of trust that makes it worth it to ride the sometimes rocky road. Yeah, they probably have some good sex too--again with making the rocky road worth it.

A hookup isn't necessarily some sort of life destroying, soul eroding experience. It is if you are always expecting it to end with a knight in shining armor or big diamond engagement ring. It is if you aren't being honest with yourself or your partner about what you actually want out of it. And it is if you keep pursuing it as an activity, if what you are really looking for isn't sex but someone to love and someone to love you. Temporary worship at the temple of orgasm ain't a marriage(or necessarily the best road to one), but it can be a nice holiday for a marriage to take (as often as possible)

Of course I say all of this being happily single and recently celibate (because, well, no one has been worth it lately). So maybe my advice on what makes a good marriage or a true love is all bullshit? My sister might say I am making this argument to justify some of my own personal lifestyle choices. Maybe she is right, but I also happen to believe in all of the theory I just spouted. . . . So there.

First things First

I have already said this Sara, but I need it to be known to everyone who reads this that my intention was never, ever to hurt Sara Jo's feelings or to make fun of her. If that is what happened, I am sorry.

My tone was puzzlement because I know that Sara and I have a very small amount of overlap in our taste in movies (we both love cheesy romantic comedies--even the high school variety--and we both enjoy deep serious dramas with big start acting turns, after that not a lot is the same). But Sara knows we never like the same things, and I somehow mistook her prodding to come and hang out with my friends as prodding to come and see a movie I was not interested in (and quite frankly probably would've openly mocked in the theatre). If my tone did not come across the way I intended it to, that is something I need to work on as a writer.

Also, it needs to be pointed out that they were seeing the movie at a super discount little neighborhood movie house, and it was $3 a ticket. No one paid anything remotely near full price for this film. It also was probably the most interesting thing playing at the cheap movie house. The choices there can be anemic sometimes.

Spring is starting to return

I must have scared the weather into submission with my angry rant. It is not ridiculously cold anymore, but it is pushing mildly cold at night. Whatever. It won't be that long until I am hiding from the weather inside my wonderful air conditioning, so perhaps it is best I just shut up.

Sara Jo called me today. She invited me to go to a movie with her and Angie. Normally I would totally go--I love those girls, I love movies, what could go wrong? However, this time there was no way I was paying money to see what they were seeing. I almost said it was a movie I 'might' rent, and then I caught myself and said, "No, there is no way I would even rent that movie." The truth is, I don't even think I would watch it if it were on TV. Maybe, just maybe, I would watch it if it was really the only thing on, also if the remote control was very far from me, and I was wrapped in a warm blanket on the couch in a cold house. Maybe then I would watch it.

The thing is, when I said that there was nothing at all about the movie that appealed to me, and I didn't know why she thought I would want to watch it, Sara seemed stunned. I think she really thought I would like it. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not the movie snob I once was. I am pretty open-minded, and I do love me some trash and some ridiculous in my movies, but it is a very particular brand of trash. Will Farrell as some odd profession tends to tickle me in the right place, and I am a sucker for romantic comedies, even when they are very, very bad (see "Because I Said So" or actually, don't, don't see it). So, I didn't mean it like my taste is soooo much better then hers or anything. I just didn't see what about this movie seemed like something I would want to see.

The movie? Wild Hogs. Yeah this movie. Do you think I would want to see it? Informal polling happening now in the comments.

FUCKING APRIL!!!

It was snowing today. Not just, oh look as flake or two of snow in the oh, remember how it used to be winter(?) sort of way. Not even, wait was that a snowflake? Not even snow that becomes water as it hits the ground. No, we had motherfucking SNOOOOW, snow! It accumulated. Now, I don't know about the weather where those of you out there in the internet ether live, but if you also had motherfucking snow, I am sorry.

It is April. April is a spring month. Not a month where spring starts, so okay there could be some winter. It is a spring, spring month. When I awoke this morning, in between tidbits about two strangers and a wedding, I heard in the forecast that it was snowing and raining today. I thought that was pretty shitty, and I could hear that it was wet out (my room is close to a busy street a little below street level), but I never imagined it would be anything but snow that becomes water. It might be really slushy snow that becomes water, but it couldn't be more then that; anything more would be against the laws of nature, this is April after all (spring!). But when I opened the front door to leave my house I saw a sight so horrifying I had to close the door again, retreat, and regroup before I actually left. There was snow on my stoop, and snow in my front flower bed. Not like little speck of snow, but snow. A blanket of snow. It covered things like a blanket. There was no dirt to be seen just snow. I could not believe my eyes. I gasped, there was gasping.

Later, when I had steeled myself enough emotionally to face it, it piled up on my sleeves like it does in a winter snowstorm. And I didn't walk from the bus stop to work, I trudged. I had too! There was too much snowy slush accumulated merely to walk through it. I had to trudge.

This is completely unacceptable. I want my spring, and I want it now. This is bullshit. We should not still have to have our heat on. Heat should be a luxury we turn on only because we want to, not because we have to! I want to be an imperialist dog using my heat to keep my apartment only marginally warmer then the temperature outside--not because I have to use it or my pipes might fucking freeze!!!!!!

I am sorry for the profanity in this post, but I just cannot take it anymore.

Drunk again

Okay, really only tipsy. Which is good because as I stated before, I am too old for this shit. Easter was a big Idaho Vandal shindig at Angie and Sara's. They were there, plus me, the Brians, Anna, and two of Angie's transplant Vandal friends. It was great fun and great food and great friends. It was good to see Turpin again (it's been almost a year), and it was good to see Bush again too. I had almost felt estranged I had not seen him so long (although just a few months, not even a record).

I made a salad. There was ham, and cheesecake and awesome deviled eggs. What more do you want from Easter?

I am too old for this shit!

I am. I am too old to be going out drinking and drinking so much more then I ought that I make myself sick. Usually, I am a pretty self-aware drunk, and I know when I am approaching my limit, so I stop. Then there are the times when I go out with new people, and they can't believe I am as much of a cream puff as I am, so they keep buying me drinks, and I get drunk enough that I think still drinking is going to be fine, and then I wind up where I was last night--lying on the floor of my bathroom with my head in the toilet.

But I am a trooper, six hours later I was at work being nice to customers and selling shit. We did however have a wonderful time at all three bars we went to. Well, Delilah's was great fun. Ravens was too crowded, and the blues bar we ended up at (Kingston Mines) was awesome. It was a very fun evening out with friends. Well, barring the puking and Anna Schlegs encouraging a quite old and not so much with the cute man to flirt with me at Delilah's. Although in her defense she was really mocking him to get him to go away, and he somehow thought that was encouraging.

Quote Day

Today, instead of stories, I give you quotes. My roommate Renee is in charge of the first one, "I think I have found my type," she says to me, "Someone who wears more black then me. That is my type." She said it with such conviction and sincerity that I had to laugh at her, even though she may well be right.

I am the source of quote number two. I walked outside of work today and was dioriented slightly by the fact that the ground was wet but even more so by the fluffy little things floating in the air, "Are those bubbles?" I asked of the sky full of light snow. Not bubbles, no--motherfucking snow in April! Plus a wind they call an arctic blast. Last week I wore shorts.

Idaho

Sometimes it is known as the land of potatoes and hate, but lately, for me it has been known as the land where weddings meet regrets. Maybe not regrets but uncomfortable and unexpected confrontations with one night stands.

Many of you recall last years eventful February wedding in Weiser, Idaho. I went to see my cousin get married, and I had all manner of fun with my family. Oh yeah, and I noticed half way through the ceremony that I had deflowered the best man at ACTF a few years ago (see James D. Clayton and any mention of "The Devirginator"), and did I mention that the best man was the grooms older brother? Yeah, so there was that. Apparently his family finds the women in mine irresistible.

This summer I am going to Idaho to see Sarah Jo and Johnny B get married. Twin Falls here I come! And I was very, very excited that my friend (and theirs) Laura Yaz will be making it in from NYC. She asked John and Sara if she could bring her ex-fiancee and good, good friend with her, and they said sure. This means that my second wedding in as many years in Idaho will have a guest appearance by a one-night stand.

Now these stories might make it seem that I am some sort of ho. That I have some long list of one night stands otherwise why would they be constantly streaming out of the woodwork, but you would be wrong. These guys make up about half, or actually more then half of all the one-night skeletons in my closet. There aren't a whole lot more, and I am still friends with another one of them, so I wouldn't call him surprising. Technically, depending on how you view the Luke insanity, you could maybe even count two one-night stands as guests at this coming wedding. They multiply.

But then it hit me. This all happens in Idaho. Idaho. I - da - ho. All right all ready (looks skyward) I get it dude. I get it. You work for my mom or she for you or something. Hahaha, you are sooooo funny. And, now that I think of it, this is your time of year to have some practical jokes at my expense. Not so good Friday is just around the corner. Seriously? Idaho? (Shakes head sadly).

Don't ask, don't tell

My family has a don't ask, don't tell policy about sex, and I feel that if I had more time and wasn't so damn tired I would write a story about it. But right now, I am just putting it in my blog in the hopes that I will remember it later.

Two jobs today. Kind of delirious right now. Wish that I could just find myself a couple more hours in the day, and I would sleep through them. Good night!