Sometimes it is known as the land of potatoes and hate, but lately, for me it has been known as the land where weddings meet regrets. Maybe not regrets but uncomfortable and unexpected confrontations with one night stands.
Many of you recall last years eventful February wedding in Weiser, Idaho. I went to see my cousin get married, and I had all manner of fun with my family. Oh yeah, and I noticed half way through the ceremony that I had deflowered the best man at ACTF a few years ago (see James D. Clayton and any mention of "The Devirginator"), and did I mention that the best man was the grooms older brother? Yeah, so there was that. Apparently his family finds the women in mine irresistible.
This summer I am going to Idaho to see Sarah Jo and Johnny B get married. Twin Falls here I come! And I was very, very excited that my friend (and theirs) Laura Yaz will be making it in from NYC. She asked John and Sara if she could bring her ex-fiancee and good, good friend with her, and they said sure. This means that my second wedding in as many years in Idaho will have a guest appearance by a one-night stand.
Now these stories might make it seem that I am some sort of ho. That I have some long list of one night stands otherwise why would they be constantly streaming out of the woodwork, but you would be wrong. These guys make up about half, or actually more then half of all the one-night skeletons in my closet. There aren't a whole lot more, and I am still friends with another one of them, so I wouldn't call him surprising. Technically, depending on how you view the Luke insanity, you could maybe even count two one-night stands as guests at this coming wedding. They multiply.
But then it hit me. This all happens in Idaho. Idaho. I - da - ho. All right all ready (looks skyward) I get it dude. I get it. You work for my mom or she for you or something. Hahaha, you are sooooo funny. And, now that I think of it, this is your time of year to have some practical jokes at my expense. Not so good Friday is just around the corner. Seriously? Idaho? (Shakes head sadly).
Where's Beebo?! There she is!!!
11 years ago
4 comments:
Any plans for encores on your trip to Twin? Or are you going to try to bag some new fella?
You've got a reputation to uphold now.
i read this right before i went to bed, which turned out to be a mistake. i couldn't sleep. i tossed and turned all night long, angry at myself for not cracking wise on the whole IDAHO thing.
there were so many ways to go, yes, u-da-ho, or pointing out that you graduated from the university of I-Da-Ho.
i hated myself all night long.
i'm sorry if i let you down.
Sally-No encores. No, no, no with one, and I am not going to be stupid a third time with the other (blah, blah, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, there is no thirds, blah).
As for a new fellow? I will be on vacation, and I do have a reputation to uphold.
Al-I am actually pleased that I ruined your sleep, but I do appreciate the University giggle.
scary. very scary.
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