Monday, April 24, 2006

Being Nice to my mom

That is my plan for talking to her on the phone. She called me today while I was at work and left a message, and she had totally talked to my sister before she did. Many, many times she told me she had been thinking about me and praying about me.

Sidebar, it weirds me out when my mom talks about praying for me because I feel like she rarely seems like a religious or spiritual person (there is no vibe like that off of her in everyday life), and then she tells you that she is praing for you, and that is hard to believe because it just comes out of nowhere.

Anyway, I want to not get hysterical or defensive on her from the start. If she is going to show up and be there for me, I want to be gracious in accepting that support as it is and not hold anything against her because I feel it showed up to late.

On a different note, today started as a really wonderful day. Last night I did some NIA with the focus of healing, and it really brought me to a nice place of calm and peace, and for the first time since Patrick I felt like I had worth and fullness where there had been gaping emptiness. That fullness was me. But tonight is a diferent story, I am crying again. I wish that I wasn't.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"sidebar"--hey...remember that time in 9th grade when we joined that law club together and we went to that meeting that never went anywhere and your dad had to take me home afterwards?

say hi to your mom for me and maybe you could ask her to find out--i'm sorta afraid to call his mom myself as we've already gone over this--and you seriously can't blame me--afterall...you're afraid too.